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12 IMPORTANT QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD ASK YOUR PARTNER BEFORE YOU ENTER INTO MARRIAGE

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Courtship period is a very important period that precedes marriage. The decisions you make during courtship will determine the outcome of your marriage. Courtship period is not a time for unholy kisses, smouching and sex. Courtship period is a time for you to ask your wife/husband to be some serious questions.

The following are very important questions you should ask your partner during courtship.

1) ARE YOU BORN AGAIN? You need to ask this question so that you can know if both of you belong to the same family – the family of God. The Bible is very clear about matters like this.

2 Corinthians 6:14-17 says, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what FELLOWSHIP HATH RIGHTEOUSNESS WITH UNRIGHTEOUSNESS? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you”

You need to take heed otherwise, you are heading towards divorce! Or an head on collision with his/her father -the devil! Some of you claim you are born again and you are aware your partner smokes and drinks and have multiple partners, yet you still want to go on with the marriage, goodluck!

2) WHAT IS YOUR VISION? I was in a showroom in my base in Ibadan and I saw a beautiful LED Plasma TV of 5 Million naira. I so much admire it, but I came to the conclusion that it is the same pictures I see on my regular LED plasma TV that the man with the beautiful LED Plasma TV of 5 Million naira will see. The only difference I saw was the size of the display screen and the HD resolution. A person wearing red on his plasma TV will not wear black on my plasma TV. However, in the next 5 years, another better quality and more expansive version of plsama TV overtake the one of 5 million Naira that I saw. So my advice to single ladies is, don’t marry a man with a big television, marry a man with a BIG VISION. Because he may not have a very big television of 5 Million naira today. But there are big televisions in his vision.

Never marry a man without a vison. It is the mother of all confusion. That’s why you need ask your partner about his/her vision. And if you ask him for his vison and he says, “my father has a big factory and when he dies, I will take over.” That is not a vision, it is an ambitious. Make your vision plain. If it is plain, your partner will understand you and know how to position themselves to support, encourage and stand beside you. And if you tell your partner your vision and he/she don’t agree with your vision, end the relationship immediately! There is no reason to get married to the someone that does not believe in your vision. And there is no reason to get married to the someone that does not support in your dreams.

3) WHICH CHURCH WILL YOU BE ATTENDING AFTER WEDDING? If you are a tongue talking believer, try as much as possible to marry another tongue talking believer. If you are an orthodox believer pls you will do well by marrying another orthodox believer to avoid conflict of interest in your marriage.

If you dislike his church, his Pastor and their doctrines, pls end the relationship now! Don’t go further on your marriage plans.

4) HOW MUCH DO YOU EARN? This is very important, so you can know how to plan on your finances as couples. Be bare to him or her don’t give rooms for assumptions. Don’t lie that you collect 100k whereas your salary is just 50k. And if you are contractor or business owner or pastor, let her know. And as a lady, if you want to marry a pastor, contractor or business owner, you must have faith.

Because pastors, contractors and business owners live by faith.

On like salary earner that their income comes after 30 days or thereabout, pastors, contractors and business owners may not get regular incomes every month’s but just one deal or favour they get can settle you for a year. But for that to happen, they need faith. So if you can’t stand with them through the thick and thins, you don’t have any business marrying them.

5) WHAT ARE YOUR FINANCIAL PLANS? Nobody is permitted to stay stagnant financially. If you are earning 30k right at the moment, how do you intend to increase it? Will you work harder by seeking promotions in your company or get another high paying job? Will you diversify, start a business, invest, etc. If you are thinking investment, what type of business can you profitably invest in to get high yield?

6) HAVE YOU BEEN SEXUALLY ACTIVE IN THE PAST? Sex in marriage is a major course and not a minor issue. I have had of cases where people end their marriages because their sexual expectations were not met. Some have resolved to getting side chicks to argument their sex life.

I remember when my wife and I were in courtship, she ask me specifically about my sexual life; the first sex I had and with who which I told her. And on her part she humbly told she was a virgin and have never done it before.

You need to your partner sexual life so you can know what to expect on the wedding night and how to meet their sexual needs in marriage. Experts says, men who have been sexually active before can’t stand sexual boredom and routine on the marriage bed. With such people, you have to be creative and not be like a log wood on the bed. So asking him this question during your courtship period in a open place and not behind close doors will go a long way.

7) WHAT ARE YOUR SEXUAL EXPECTATIONS? It might interest you that some people have dirty sexual orientation due to their past life before their being born again. As such, such people will like oral sex and other dirty sex you are foreign to.

Talk about your sexual expectations, do you believe in different sex styles, oral sex, using vibrator, etc so you can know how to position yourself sexually in marriage and meet their sexual needs. Pls note that questions like this should be asked close to the wedding for people with very low resistance to mature sex talk.

8) WHAT IS YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE?
In a 1992 book titled the five love languages written by Gary Chapman, he outlines five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love in their relationships which he calls “love languages”. There are five major love language they are:

acts of service

gift-giving

physical touch

quality time and

words of affirmation

You can only communicate love when you speak your spouse’s love language and not what you think is his or her love language. Some like to be touched, hugged, etc a lot. Some love gifts, if you love them, give them gifts, some want you to spend quality time with them, some want you to affirm, admire, compliment and appreciate them.

Some people need words of encouragement everyday on a consistent basis and not just physical touch. They need you to tell them how good they are; they need to hear you tell them with a pat on the back, “Darling, you are doing well”.
Husbands, telling your wife “thank you” after each meal can go a long way in fostering your marital relationship.

As such, ask, you need to know your would be spouse love language so you do not build your marriage on ignorance.

9) WHAT CAN I EVER DO THAT WILL MAKE YOU DIVORCE ME? You need to ask this question in order not to cross the line. According to the experts, one out of every three marriages in the UK will end in divorce. In the US, it is said that one out of every two marriages will end in divorce. That means the chances of people staying together is 50%. That means for every five people that goes before the altar, five of them will end in the tragedy called divorce.

I can tell you that most of these couples enter into marriage innocently until they cross the line for divorce. We know God is against divorce but don’t do things that will make them think of booting you out of their lives. Ask them things they hate so you wont do them and put an end to your marriage! Men in general can’t take adultery from their wives and women can’t handle a man that physically abuse them or when a man is cheating on them. You need to talk about it!

10) FAMILY PLANNING. Ask questions on family planning. And the best time to ask is during your courtship period so that you both will know your expectation on the number of children you want to bear. How many children do you want to have within the space of how many years? You need to plan so you don’t start manufacturing babies year in year out till the man runs away from home.

11) ASK YOUR PARTNER ABOUT THEIR GENOTYPE.
Before marriage, intending couple should know their blood groups and Genotype. Someone with “AS” Genotype should not marry another person that is “AS”. If they do, they may give birth to an “SS” child. The agony of a sickler is too much to bear. So, we must try to avoid it at all cost. Someone with “AA” can marry any other group.

Get a good understanding of the Genotype before you marry; it will save you a fortune. If you hope to have children together, never you play down on this matter.

12) Ask questions to KNOW HIS OR HER TEMPERAMENTS. In psychology, temperament is the way you tend to behave or the types of emotions you tend to exhibit. Is he or she sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic or melancholy? Does he/she get angry easily or cool headed? Is he agressive? There is the story of the wife of a man that I heard that, anytime she is angry, she will start breaking precious things in the house. She was in the car with her husband and threatened to jump out of the moving vehicle all because she was angry.

I believe that if this man knows the personality type of his wife during courtship, he will not border to marry her. Knowing his/her temperament and personality type will help you relate properly with him/her. Don’t let the term people use that ‘love is blind’ blind you from the personality type/temperaments of the people you want to marry. Because at the end of the day in marriage, it will remain only you and their character.

Talk during courtship! As said, courtship period is not a time for unholy kisses, smouching and sex. Courtship period is a time for you to ask your wife/husband to be some important questions. Courtship is for serious talking and planning towards your glorious future in marriage. There is no accidental success. Failure to plan is planning to fail. Plan towards marital bliss and you will enjoy heaven on earth in your marriage.

God bless you

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