“I am lazy, I am a bad friend, I am poor, I am fat, I am sick” etc. stop cursing yourself! What you are going through is not your identity and adding the word “I am” to what you are going through simply means you like that, you are comfortable with that, you love it and want it to remain as such.
Honestly speaking people are cursing themselves every day without knowing, their words reflect on their lives yet they are too blind to see that. They equal their negative qualities, habit or experiences to their identity. They make negative declarations of their identity each day but when you ask if that is what they want to be, the answer is always No.
Whatever you say on earth about yourself, heaven has held on to those words. “Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven” – Matthew 18:18 (MEV). Whatever the case is, it is not too late to change your story. Learn to separate negatives experiences, encounters and qualities from your identity. By so doing you can one day become who God created you to be.
So from today instead of referring to yourself as “I am sick” you should rather say “I have been infected with an illness.. or having some challenges with health”. It means sickness is not your identity or who you are but what you are going through in a short period of time.
Instead of saying “I am fat” your words should rather be “I have put on weight.” It means that is not who you are or used to be. That will compel you to work on that and burn some fat.
Instead of saying “I am poor” you should rather say “I don’t have money now” It only means you are going through that at the moment but that is not how the story will remain. It’s just temporary, not permanent.
You don’t have to say “I am a bad friend”, because of the things you should have done for your friend but didn’t do. I don’t believe you want to be a bad friend or be called as one. You should rather say “I have not communicated as much as I should with the people I care about”.
“I am lazy” is not a tag you should hang around your neck. Who wants to be around a lazy person? Even you don’t want to, so why make such a declaration as your identity. You should rather say “I have made a habit of not doing work unless it’s very necessary.”
Why conclude “I am not marriage material” because all your relationships failed? Is that what you want to be remain? Is that how your Creator made you? You should rather say “I’ve had failed relationships”. This will offer you the opportunity to rewrite what you failed. It enables you to review your past relationship, learn from them and become better.
“You will have to live with the consequences of everything you say. What you say can preserve lives or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words” – Proverbs 18:20-21 (GNT).
Life is a school, we go through life by learning, it’s not all the subjects that you will get right. Accept the fact that you will sometimes be the bad character in someone else’s story. Your role is to teach them lessons they need. You should always grow from what you go through, forgive yourself if you have to, move on if you have to. Don’t remain stuck with a wrong identity.