In life, the most painful lessons are the ones that change us or causes us to change. Some Exes have given us the most painful memories, a painful taste of relationship, a painful version of love. These painful experiences are not for nothing, it is not to make you a coward, timid, insecure or a philosopher.
We needed these experiences so we can appreciate the good partner or spouse life will give us eventually. If you have gone through a bad relationship and still lack appreciation for a good relationship then you don’t know what you have. No matter how painful your love or relationship journey has been, it is for you to experience those relationships so you can have a better understanding of relationship and also value and appreciate the presence of good people in your life.
So instead of cursing your Exes, living a life of regret because your paths crossed, it is time for you to thank them for such an experience. An experience that will make you a better person, an experience which will make you understand relationships. Being thankful to them does not mean you should start or keep a relationship with them.
There is no need trying to compare your previous partner to your current one. They are two different people. You need to thank the one who was bad to you for the lessons as well as thank and appreciate the new one for the good. For without the rain there would be no rainbow, without the ugly relationship, you won’t appreciate the beautiful one. It is sad we take good people for granted because we have not learnt to be thankful to the people who were bad towards us.
If your previous partner could not accept you for who you are, but was trying their best to make you what he or she wanted you to be, you have to appreciate your current partner for the acceptance. If your previous partner was not truthful to you, you have to appreciate your current partner for their honesty and celebrate them. And you have no moral right not to be truthful to them.
If your previous partner was a cheat but your current partner is faithful, you have no moral right to be unfaithful to them. you have to hold them in high esteem. If your previous partner was selfish, always seeking their interest alone, but your current partner is selfless and always putting you first, you have no moral right to be selfish towards them. You need to love them wholeheartedly.
Whatever you lacked in your previous relationship, which you complained about or had issues with, need not be repeated in the new relationship especially when you are with a partner who does not behave like your Ex. You have no moral right to let them down or bring such behaviours into the new relationship.
We need to understand that life is a journey, how you start is not how you finish. Where you start from is not where you finish. Some people start life from the hospital and end at the cemetery. It will take lots of things to get you to your destination.
A mixture of good and bad, it will take pains, hurt and healing. It will take rejections and redirection to get there. That is how you work your way to your destination. That is how you grow. Your broken heart will teach you how to love better. When you understand how it feels to be broken, you will treat others with care.
Your Ex might change, they might learn from their mistake and might even try contacting you, wanting to get back into a relationship with you. You need to be honest with them and tell them you have moved on. Tell them you have stopped loving them and you love someone new whom you are happy with, instead of showing them an attitude. Dedicate your love and attention to the current partner. It is not enough to tell them you love them. This is the time to also show them so they won’t have any cause to worry even if your Ex contacts you in the future.
, “Since everything God created is good, we should not reject any of it but receive it with thanks” – 1 Timothy 4:4 (NLT).