Another mistake people make in the name of marriage is that, once they get married, it will last a lifetime, a belief which is not true. I wish it was so, then marriage will not be work but unfortunately it is not so. The lifespan of your marriage depends on your ability to keep it or maintain it or how well you preserve it.

Marriage is not a relationship of never-changing but rather ever-changing because the people who make the relationship are ever-changing and every stage of the marriage requires its own level of work, time, attention and Grace. How far your marriage can travel depends on the work you and your spouse put into it.

We are constantly upgrading ourselves in our various career, vocation and business to catch up with the demands of the market and the rapid changes, but when it comes to a relationship like marriage, we do less, little or nothing. We treat our spouses like an old television we have at home, we only find a use for it when we get home. We only put it on when we get home and when it ceases to work the way we want it, we replace it.

How can one treat a very important relationship like marriage as nothing? I don’t believe people experience as much pain when their bosses or colleagues in the office or business hurt them as they experience with their spouse. I don’t believe they get so much hurt when they lose their job compared to when they lose their marriage.

I don’t believe one expects as much from their job, or business like they expect from their spouses, yet people don’t dedicate much of their time and attention to their marriage like they do to their job or business. People don’t invest more in their marriage as they do in their career, vocation or business.

Sadly, what matters so much to us is the one thing we treat as least and expect much from. Your marriage is just like a vehicle, how far it travels tells how much fuel you have in, no matter how new the vehicle is. And the two element that helps one’s marriage to travel far is Friendship and Open Communication.

Ladies, if your marriage will go far, make your husband your best friend. One of the very things that causes men to cheat or lose interest in marriage is lack of friendship. Sometimes your fellow ladies whom you blame for stealing your husband has no extra power. What they did was to make your husband their friend. They listen to your husband more than you do. So, your husband talks to them a lot than he talks to you, he make time for them. No wonder when they get home, they are still on the phone chatting with their mistress.

Men, if your marriage will last, you need to develop the culture of open communication, make time to talk to your women about everything in full details, including topics or issues that don’t seem serious or important to you but it is to her. Share every detail of your day with her. Let her feel she knows you better, that you have nothing to hide, and she is part and parcel of your life. As at now, you assume women are gossips because they love to talk. Talking is how they solve issues, it is how they plan, it is how they share their feelings and ideas. Deny her that and you push her into depression or into a company of bad friends or an old lover.

People sometimes blame their failed marriages on others instead of the things they did not do right in the marriage to maintain the relationship. This is to tell the singles out there eager to jump into marriage to prepare well, seek pre-marital counselling. To the married, seek post marital counselling to keep your relationship on track. The Marriage Consult LTD (+233 27 286 7746), has the needed resources and tools to help you with that. They are just a call away. Always remember each one of us are slaves of our own actions and decisions.

In conclusion, “When you’re kind to others, you help yourself; when you’re cruel to others, you hurt yourself” – Proverbs 11:17 (MSG).


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