Often, you hear couples in a relationship having issues with trust saying “trust is earned”. Meaning they don’t trust their partner and they want them to do something to earn their trust. And until that is done, they won’t trust their partner. The hard part of such a statement is that their partner does not know what to do to earn their trust. And that frustrates them even more. As if the success of the relationship solely depends on one person and not the two.
You might be in love with someone, you might be attracted to them and like them so much but when you don’t trust them, there is no peace in such a relationship. You will spend your whole life doubting every action of your partner. Your partner won’t be happy with you, they will be in a perpetual state of worry. And no one deserves a love that makes them worry, a love that gives them depression.
Trust is not an examination one has to pass to earn an achievement, recognition or certificate, on which their partner stands to trust them. Even if there is something like that, nobody writes or sits for the examination and passes successfully without having the proper knowledge of the subject. To those saying they don’t trust their partner and further add that trust is something they must earn, can you be fair and open to your partner?
Give them the right knowledge or information about what trust is to you. What are the things they must do to earn your trust? Can you be specific? Can you list them? And make sure your partner really understands you and you are all on the same page. Can you give them time to learn and sit for your “examination”?
If you cannot do that, please let go of the relationship. Trust is never gained overnight; it is worked out and it gets better with time. You work with your partner to build the trust you want in your relationship. Your relationship sits on trust and without trust, your relationship has no foundation or stability.
Some people personally, have issues with trust. They find it difficult to trust others due to their past experience. such a person needs counseling and time to work on themselves before venturing into any relationship. Any person who has issues with trust is not a candidate for a relationship.
Every relationship needs trust to last, and the basic thing partners can do is to be honest with each other. Live a life of honesty. There is nothing like white lies in a lasting relationship. Telling the truth sometimes comes with hurt but your partner will be grateful to you for being honest with them.
Learn to accept your mistakes, take responsibility and open up to your partner if we want to have a lasting relationship. And when your partner opens to you no their mistakes, it is your duty to help them re-write the wrong. Don’t make them regret telling you the truth or opening up to you. Be your partner’s safe place.
In conclusion, “A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it” – Proverbs 31:10-11 (MSG).