1) Be mindful of a woman who does not have a relationship with God, who does not have any desire to build one; she should be avoided unless you too do not have a relationship with Him. A woman who loves and respects the Lord will love and respect you in obedience to the Lord! She will support you spiritually through prayers and will encourage you with the word when you are down and out. She will be there to teach your children the way of the Lord. She is a home builder and not a home breaker!

2) Never get married to a woman who finds it difficult to respect her father, elder brother or anyone that represents a male-figure; she will really find it tough submitting to you. Do not forget; men perceive respect as a proof of love and it is in their nature to value and love someone that respects them. A virtuous woman is submissive to her husband not necessarily because he deserves it but because it is her nature to do so and because God commands it.

3) Watch for a woman who is teachable, flexible and humble. An arrogant, stubborn and rigid woman is predisposed to building a bad marriage; go for her if you want a woman who will give you trouble at home. The willingness to learn is an important factor that can make any woman become better with time no matter crude, immature or incompatible she is with you. Flexible people adapt to change and change is a consistent in any marital relationship.

4) Be weary of a woman who has perfected the art of deception. She can pretend to be an angel, to love you at all cost and do everything possible to entice you and when you are married, she will reveal her nature. When a woman is nice to a fault, everything you do or say is right, she never gets angry no matter how you treat her or what happens, I bet you, she is not real or genuine. Some women behave this way because they are desperate to be married, because of poor self image or for what they will gain from the relationship e.g. money. You need to marry a woman who is so genuine that you will love her for who she is. However, pretense will never lead to a lasting marital commitment rather it will result to a dysfunctional relationship.

5) Never marry a woman who loves you for your money, family background, and social status. The reason is simple; when your money is gone and all your wealth is gone, she will either abandon you or she will give you a hell of trouble by nagging you to death. Money has wings and can fly away but true love endures forever. Secondly, marriage is about the two of you alone and you will make it happen based on your character and behavior. It is not about your extended family name and your social status.

6) Any woman who is very lazy and wants a man to provide everything for her is not worth being married to. A woman, who is always asking for money, for clothes, for call card, always demanding money and material things from you no matter how much you give, should be avoided. A woman should be self-reliant; industrious and financially independent to an extent. There is nothing wrong with requesting financial assistance and gifts from someone you love and want to be married to, however when such act becomes a burden, a demand, a consistent pattern, it is no longer an expression of love but a mere act done to fulfil an obligation. I have observed that most women who genuinely love their men think of how to support them and not to rip them off. They are always looking for ways to support you and build you up and not to grab from you.

7) Never get married to a woman who hardly tells the truth, who has a tendency to steal out of greed or any other reason; she may steal from you or from others one day and cause you a lifetime embarrassment. It will be difficult to vouch for or trust a liar. I heard a story of a wedding that was called off in Nigeria because, at night before the wedding, the lady who was about to wed stole some jewelry which was bought by her fiancé’s mother for her daughter. When they started searching for the expensive jewelries, no one agreed to have found them; the lady also denied setting her eyes on them; but in the course of the search, it was found in her sister’s box. After much interrogation, the sister confessed that she was the one who asked her to hide them. That was how a wedding involving a young man based in the US with his family and this beautiful but dishonest lady was annulled. Anyone who has the propensity to tell lies without remorse also has the tendency to steal. May God open your eyes to see clearly!

8) Be wary of a woman who has unrealistic expectations from you as she expects you to make up for the emotional emptiness of her childhood created by an absent or unloving father. A husband cannot parent his wife, it is the role of her father; he can only parent his own children. Only God can be a father to the fatherless or a mother to the motherless. Marry a woman who is whole and mature who does not need to depend on any man for her sense of fulfillment but on God.

9) Never get married to a woman who cannot delay gratification, she always wants to buy more clothes, more jewelries, more shoes, a shopping freak who hardly saves money. Unless you are as rich as Bill Gate,it might be burdensome coping with her. Furthermore, avoid getting married to a woman who cannot control her sexual desire and does not place any value on her body. A virtuous woman will not want you to go all the way before marriage because she knows how to control her emotions and she exercises restraint on spending.

10) Avoid any woman who does not love your friends and family members; she does not allow you to keep in touch with friends and relatives except hers. A good woman has a large heart and would be willing to accommodate others. Marriage does not mean isolation from family but an integration of a nuclear family into an extended family.
There are many other factors that can help you spot a wrong lady but above all, find a woman who loves God more than you or anyone else. Her love for God will bring out the best in her and enable her love you unreservedly because she knows that being the best for you pleases God.

When looking for a wife, focus on finding a woman who has the traits of a virtuous woman as listed in the scripture. However, remember that it is important to become MR RIGHT before you go looking for MS RIGHT. No one is perfect and you cannot find one but there many mature men and ladies out there.

May God grant you the grace to discover the right mate!


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