People ask me, especially married women, why can’t these single ladies go for single men out there but rather go after married men, their husbands? I laugh and they ask why, this is not funny Sir, I then say sorry, I don’t mean to be insensitive. The laughter was to mean if there was nothing good about your husband, you wouldn’t be married to him. They nod and say yeah, you are right Counselor, he is a good man.

Many single women out there trust the married men more than the single men. That they are more confident, safe and secure with the married men. Because her fellow woman is safe and secure with him, it is a sign that he is the right man to be with.

You have tried and tested that man to be a good man because you married him. Therefore, don’t be surprised single ladies are interested in your husband. I am not encouraging single ladies to go after married men. I am only telling you some of the reasons why some single women go for married men.

Apart from womanizers and lazy single ladies who target married men to be their financiers and caretakers, there are other reasons which may not be so obvious but equally turn the heads of single ladies towards the direction of married men.

A single woman will say no to a married man if his marriage is stable and he is happy at home. She doesn’t want to be tagged as a home breaker. She gets hooked on when the man runs to her, to tell her how bad his wife has been treating him, how she disrespects him. How she denies him peace at him, how she starves him at home, how she denies him sex.

Many single women who accept to be in a relationship with the married men, either fell for lies that the man is unhappy in his marriage or truly he is not happy so they sympathized with him, accommodated him.

To save marriages, married women need to know it’s not always about warning, threat, cursing husband’s side chick, etc. They need to go back to the basis of their relationship with their husband. What did they see in him, what attracted them, what is it that made him fall in love with her, why did he marry her. What is missing in the relationship now? If she can work on her relationship, she makes it unavailable for these single girls out there.

There were many single women out there when he chose you, married you. Why are you afraid of losing him to a single woman? Why the sudden suspicion and monitoring? Why do you subject him to interrogation each time he steps out? Asking who he spoke to, etc.

Are you trying to control him because he is married to you, are you trying to cage her because she is married to you? Do you expect them to be happy with you? Sometimes the very thing that makes our spouses happy are the very things we take away or destroy. Don’t let them regret marrying you. Give your spouse freedom.

Also consider the things that make your wife happy. Don’t take them away. If it’s her job, don’t take that away because you are afraid of losing them, rather support them. Don’t keep her away from her friends because you don’t like them. She cannot be happy with you or make you happy when your actions and decisions cause her unhappiness.

In conclusion, “When you’re kind to others, you help yourself; when you’re cruel to others, you hurt yourself.” – Proverbs 11:17 (MSG).


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