On the journey of finding the right partner, sex is the last thing. The deal is to find the right person you can be safe with. You don’t have sex with someone you are not safe with. Sex is always a reserve for marriage so that you can focus on finding who the right person is. That is one thing which makes marriage the safest relationship on earth.

Unfortunately for some of our youth today, sex is number one thing. Some people are looking for someone they can have great sex with whilst some Christian folks are looking for someone who respects them which includes no sex before marriage.

The sad news is some of these people who say no to premarital sex do not seem to keep any serious relationship. According to them, the men who come their way want sex first before any form of commitment. And once they are not able to give in to such men’s demand, they have no relationship.

It baffles their minds how their friends who are practicing sex before marriage are getting married and some seem to have good relationships. These Christian sisters sometimes get so confused to the extent that some end up having sex yet the marriage does not happen.

The issue is not sex before marriage, it goes beyond that. If with all your qualities as a woman, the only thing a man finds attractive about you is sex then you are doing a disservice to yourself. Then you are not adding value to yourself. The truth is, some of these women don’t have what it takes to keep a man but they have what it takes for a man to sleep with them which is a vagina.

A beautiful woman has a good attitude, she is intelligent and has great way of thinking. Her stand or point of view on issues demonstrates wisdom. A man might approach her with a bad intention but her response sparks reasoning in the head of such a man. Her response and the way she carries herself makes the man regret his words. Her response pushes such a man to do what is right.

But the one with a bad attitude talks anyhow without reasoning, she is rude, not polite. Some even insult and later on apologize. Each time you open your mouth, you tell the word who you are. The bible says “A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit” – Matthew 7:17 (CEV).

As a woman, your words make you beautiful, your words should be seasoned with kindness, bring comfort to the soul, heal. A beautiful woman is a comforter, motivator, a friend. A beautiful woman does not make enemies. She stays out of negatives because her spirit is full of positivity.

Bad attitude cannot take you to any place as a woman. It is not enough to obey God and love HIM with words. You have to be a doer of His word. You’ve got to learn how to relate with others. In fact that is the second commandment.

Women are influencers and men want women who can positively influence them. They want women as a friend, working partner; a help mate. Someone who respects them because she respects herself.

Men don’t want women who are domineering, a control freak, who wants everything her way. No matter how holy you are, if you don’t know how to relate to men, no man wants you even as a house girl, not to talk of a wife.

In conclusion, “Be beautiful in your heart by being gentle and quiet. This kind of beauty will last, and God considers it very special” – 1 Peter 3:4 (CEV).


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