Naturally we are all selfish and self-centered; it’s all about the me mentality. As a result, each time we go into relationships, we tend to focus on what our partner can do for us, what we can get from the relationship, how the next person can make me happy. We only go into relationships to receive.

Some of us don’t even know we are beautiful, we want to hear it from someone, and hearing it from someone is what puts smiles on our faces.

We want our partner to entertain us and do things to make us happy, but once this is not achieved, we are quick to reshuffle our partners in search of happiness elsewhere.

Due to our self-centered nature only our hurts matter, we don’t take our partner into consideration when we speak to or act towards them in a certain way. We end up hurting them with what we do and say.

A successful relationship is between two people who behave selflessly towards each other despite their selfish nature; putting each other first and seeking out new ways and means to put smiles on each other’s faces. Serving each other is what makes us happy.

Being your partner or in a relationship with you means I want to serve you. Each time you want to be in a relationship with someone, ask yourself “Am I ready and willing to serve them?” You should know you are going into the relationship to give what you have.

If you can’t do this, then you are not qualified for any relationship. Giving them your time, attention, company, listening ears, gift, etc. are all part of the bargain.

Your loyalty is what makes you partners. You should not be forced to do this. If someone has to beg or compel you to do this, then you are not ready for a relationship either.

When you are able to give without expecting something in return, you will be able to forgive them when they hurt you, whether they deserve it or not; you will be able to love your partner when he or she becomes unlovable, you will be able to take care of them when they even care less about you.

Doing this is what makes you happy and sets your heart at peace rather than getting upset with their attitude towards you. But when you go into a relationship just to receive, you also give them power to deny you, power to make you unhappy, and you will find it difficult to forgive when they wrong you.

Consequently if things go wrong and the relationship ends, you will count losses instead of joy. On the other hand if you go in to give, to sow into their lives and impact them, then it doesn’t make you a bad person when they leave for you know your worth.

Your departure rather leaves you in their hearts and minds, and they miss you more than you ever thought. Your absence gives them the opportunity to realize the role you were playing in their lives.

In conclusion “Your attitude must be like my own, for I, the Messiah, did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give my life as a ransom for many.” – Matthew 20:28 (TLB).


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