More and more teenagers are into the dating world, some are into their age mates while other girls are dating men far older.
Well meaning teens have confessed they are in love, they want to know if they are with the right partner and how to make their relationships successful.
I won’t deny the fact that some women married very early and have marriages that last decades e.g, Nigerian actress: Omotola Jolade Ekehinde among others, I must also confess, it has its challenges too. Your family background, parental upbringing, maturity and spiritual life determine how you will turn out in marriage!
Omotola for one married a man far older and had an active job to take responsibilities as a man. He wasn’t some teenage boy looking for love somewhere. She herself was already hustling after her father’s death to take care of her siblings. She was into modeling ad anything that could make money and take care of siblings. She had a sense of responsibility. She had an active vision for her life she was pursuing, she was mature and sound and more, she was sexually disciplined!
The challenge I have with today’s teens is no sense of direction, their purposelessness, visionlessness and carelessness.
You don’t date because you want to have fun, experiment sex and hangout, you go into courtship because you have a vision and you need someone help you fulfil your vision. What is your vision in life? What do you want to become?
A successful marriage is not cheap! It requires a high level of discipline and maturity which most teenagers today don’t have.
Most are still being spoon fed by dad and mummy. You can’t even write your WAEC without the help of special centers. You can’t do anything sensible without being monitored. You lack control over your mouth and sex organs. Once you have a urge, you must masturbate and watch porn. You don’t know John 3:16 talk less of turning open the pages of the Bible and you want to marry, to do what? Look into each other’s eye balls? You are seriously joking!
Look, marriage is more than, “I love you, I love you”. It involves the change of diapers, cooking and sweating in the kitchen, screaming out the name of your toddler, jumping out at 5am seeking your daily bread, paying rent and bills, handling conflicts, pressures and challenges of life which hits everyone, everyone!
Emotion is unstable, it fizzles at the face if challenges, you need stability of character and all round maturity: spiritual, physical, financial, economical, psychological, emotional to weather the storms that often hit marriages whether you like it or not.
If you can’t let go of distractions, face your studies and shun all immorality and everything that takes your attention from Christ, your studies and your vision, you are not ready for marriage.
An unshakable focus on your God given destiny in life while doing everything to attain it by shunning all distraction is a sign of maturity.
Dating as a teenager is a distraction. For how long do you want to date and what will you be doing? Hold hands, have sex and frolic? You are 16, you want to marry at 25 and you are into an 18 year old boy, what will you be doing together in 9 years? How do you plan to control your sexual urge with your hormones raging as a teenager? How many abortions would you have had within that 9 years?
Look, save your head from unnecessary trouble. Tell that boy disturbing you to wait for you if he is really in love. You need to face your education, graduate in flying colours and end up as a woman of substance. You are not just created marry, you have a destiny to fulfil.
Let that girl wait for you while you build up yourself into a man worth emulating and modeling, a man of dignity, honour, substance and value. There is more to you than just getting married and having children. You are here to fulfil your destiny, focus on your destiny!
