The world has convinced women that they are not fully functioning, fulfilled individuals without a man. Actually, it’s the other way around. The wrong relationship can squeeze the very life out of you. That’s why it’s important to allow God reveal the man that He wants to find you. This always was, and always will be, the perfect order of a relationship because it is spiritual law (Proverbs 18:22).
So where did God come up with the idea that the man finds the woman? God arranged this in order to give the woman power. Let’s face it—men never appreciate anything they don’t have to work for to get. The spirit of conquest is in the heart of every man. Get the picture? Men reverence that which is hard-earned. God wanted women to be appreciated in the same way. This would ensure that you receive the special treatment He knew you deserved.
Not every man in your life is a “scum” or “snake”. When a woman go in pursuit of men they end up like the Shulamite woman—on the wrong side of town, in the dark, badly wounded, with a torn veil. But when she decided to “tend to” her own garden, she found herself surrounded by the chariots of her lover. That’s the way you want a man to talk about you.
The wrong side of town is out of your jurisdiction, out of your God-designed role. Being in the dark means being confused. You won’t have a clue as to who really wants who if you did all the work to make it happen! Besides, this just leads to insecurity, and insecurity makes you do foolish things that will eventually drive him away. Being badly wounded is the end result of it all. And a torn veil is indicative of being exposed to disgrace, which leaves you open to a spirit of bitterness and rejection.
Therefore, your life should be full of activity and interests apart from him. He should be compelled to decide that the only way he will be able to capture your attention and time consistently is to marry you. The more available you make yourself, the further away your wedding day will be. So relax–take a seat behind the end zone and let him come and get you—end of story.