Colossian 3:12-13
What do you want most out of life? Most of us would rank healthy relationships high on the list. Except for knowing Christ and having eternal life, healthy relationships make life enjoyable perhaps more than anything else.
Even if your health isn’t the best, if you have loving relationships, you can enjoy life. You can make a pile of money, but if your relationships are broken or shallow, your life will be empty. A poor man with a loving family and good friends is far richer than a rich man who is poor relationally.
The Bible ranks healthy relationships as the most important thing in life. A Jewish religious expert asked Jesus (Matt. 22:36), “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied (Matt. 22:37-40):
“‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.”
A loving relationship with God is of first importance; but loving relationships with others is second. The Bible is all about these two important relationships.
Because the Bible emphasizes healthy relationships so highly, it’s sad that there are so many believers who have hurting or broken relationships. Many Christian homes have been shattered by divorce. Some who stay married are unhappy. Their homes are a tense battle ground, not a loving refuge. Many Christian parents are at odds with their kids and the kids with their parents.
On the church level, some bounce from church to church, leaving a trail of damaged relationships behind. I know of Christians who won’t speak to other Christians because of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and wrongs that have taken place. Sadly, the loving families, genuine friendships, and healthy relationships that we want most out of life often elude us.
In our text, Paul gives the prescription for healthy relationships. If you’ll consistently practice these qualities, you’ll have healthy relationships. But maybe you’re thinking, “But healthy relationships also depend on others, don’t they? It’s virtually impossible to have a good relationship with some people!” True. Paul acknowledged this when he wrote (Rom. 12:18), “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”
Sometimes, no matter what you do, some people are hard to get along with. But often if you treat a difficult person with the qualities that Paul enumerates in our text, he will change for the better in how he relates to you. But even if some relationships never improve, if you relate to others as Paul describes here, most of your relationships will be healthy.
But this isn’t easy medicine to take, because to develop these qualities, you’ve got to kill all immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed (Col. 3:5). You’ve got to put aside all anger, wrath, malice, slander, abusive speech, and lying (Col. 3:8-9). And, you’ve got to put on “a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other” (Col. 3:12b-13).
The reason you should do this is because God has graciously chosen and loved you. Paul is saying, God’s gracious, loving treatment of us is the basis for our treatment of others.
