Anytime anyone asks you to date them or get into a relationship with them so they can help you, just know such a person has no intention to help you. If they really want to help you, they don’t need to get into a relationship with you to do so.
Unfortunately, people are too gullible to know this and out of desperation accept relationships which have hidden terms and conditions, in the name of help.
Help is something you do for someone; offering them services or giving them assistance. It’s about the person’s needs and not yours. It’s about giving without expecting anything in return. People who genuinely help are satisfied for meeting a need in your life and not because they expect a favour in return.
When people want to date you so they can help you, they are not thinking about you. They are thinking about themselves and what they can get from you. The assistance they give is something they do in exchange for what they are getting from the relationship but they make it seem as if the relationship is all about helping you.
Anytime you decide to end the relationship, you are made to feel like an ungrateful person for the help offered you. They behave as if they didn’t benefit from the relationship. Many people have been forced into this kind of relationship because of a need.
There are things people do for you in a relationship which can’t be quantified in monitory terms. They did that for you because of the relationship. You meet a need in each other’s lives. When such a relationship doesn’t work or lead to marriage, stop blackmailing them because you spent money on them.
What about the time gave spent with you, what about the connection; how they made you feel? the intimacy, the conversation, the emotional needs, etc.
If you really want to help someone, help them without asking for a relationship. If you want a relationship, go for that but don’t use the word “help”. You don’t help people so they can stay in a relationship with you. Relationships are voluntary. Let people be with you because they want to and not because of a need.
In conclusion, “Don’t take advantage of the poor just because you can; don’t take advantage of those who stand helpless in court. The Lord will argue their case for them and threaten the life of anyone who threatens theirs.” – Proverbs 22:22-23 (GNT).
