In the year 2019 or previous years many people made choices in the name of relationships which turned out not to be the best ones and out of such decisions, children or babies were the outcome. Just as no one is a saint or angel nor anyone completely innocent, one thing lots of single parents have not learnt is how to get a fresh start to become a better person for themselves and that of their children.
It’s sad to know many innocent kids are still suffering as a result of the actions of their parents which was no fault of theirs. It’s very true that when elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers; the weak gets hurt in conflicts between the powerful. Children are deprived of their needs because of bad relationships. Some men refuse to provide and care for their own kids because of their hatred towards the child’s mother.
Some ladies refuse to let their child see, meet or have anything to do with their father because of their bitterness towards their Ex. That sickness and madness needs to get cured in the year 2019. Don’t enter 2020 with that. It’s not enough to go to the 31st watch night service to pray for a good spouse. Make a conscious effort to be a good mother or father to your own child before you look for a mother or father for them.
Dear Single Mum, in the year 2020, don’t take money from your child’s dad and still refuse them the privilege of seeing their children or spending time with them.
Dear Single Dad, don’t just send money and gifts for the child’s upkeep, but also make time to visit and spend time with the child. It helps the child’s development.
They need to create a bond with you, see you, hold you, play with you. Your presence makes sense to the child at the tender age than your money or gift.
Your time or presence is one or the only gift no one can give them apart from you. The mother, uncles and aunties can give the child gifts but none can give them the experience of spending time with their dad.
It’s amazing how children at a tender age can connect, they look at you directly in the eyes, eyeball to eyeball, wanting to have your full attention. The question they are asking is, do I matter to you, the way you matter to me.
Do I mean everything to you the way you mean everything to me? Do you care for me the way I care for you? Do you value me the way I value you? And once you demonstrate that by looking them in the eyes, once the connection is established, they smile back.
They are just saying, I am blessed for having you.
They can’t connect with your money or gift the way they will connect to you. Although your money and gift are important, your presence is the most important.
Single parents need to value the future of their child and the child’s development than their past relationship.
There is no need resenting your ex because he or she chose someone else over you and yet wants to have a relationship or bond with their babies. It’s no fault of the baby. The child needs a healthy father and mother to grow.
The worst thing to give a child is a sick parent. You end up infecting your child with the sickness of their parent as a result of a dysfunctional relationship.
Give your child the best of you and one day, they will give you the best of themselves.
In conclusion, “A stone is heavy and sand is weighty, but the resentment caused by a fool is even heavier” – Proverbs 27:3 (NLT).
