These days, it is very easy for people to propose marriage to anyone they come across or are attracted to, but it’s hard to become good friends before marriage. This is so true when ladies, especially, reply a man who shows an interest in them or wants to marry them, that they should first become friends. Many men are not able to stand that test so they run.
She might like you, be attracted to you, might know you on the surface, reside in the same area, attended the same schools, know of your family, be in the same church. But that is not enough to accept your marriage proposal. She wants to be safe and secure in the relationship. She wants to be comfortable around you. She wants to know more about you so she can trust you. Telling you, “let us be friends or start as friends” is a great place to get to know you. If you are serious about marriage, then as a man, you will accept such an offer.
Anybody who gets angry or runs away from you because you want the marital journey started as friendship, is not a candidate for marriage. They don’t understand marriage and should be ignored. No lady, especially, should get upset or uncomfortable because a man interested in her left after asking them to start the relationship as friends.
The Foundation of marriage is friendship, if you can’t be friends, you cannot be a couple, it’s as simple as that. Again, you get to know people’s true intention and motives when you become good friends. You get to know the beautiful side and the ugliest when you become true friends.
You don’t expect someone to put up or live with your ugliest side if you won’t give them the privilege to know you as a friend before agreeing to be with you. They might end up marrying a total stranger. You therefore have to give the one you want to spend the rest your life with the opportunity to get to know you before they agree to be with you. Friendship before marriage is a non-negotiable if you truly want a successful marriage.
In today marriages, we have couples who cannot spend an hour together talking about themselves. We have couples who understand their devices better than their partners and communicate better with these devices than their partners. As a result, they try to control their partner instead of loving and understanding them.
Being friends with people on social media, reading their feeds and status doesn’t make you true friends and you should not propose marriage based on such experience. As a matter of fact, Facebook is one place people pretend to have friends. Friendship goes beyond clicking the friendship request button.
Sometimes, what you see in people might not be love or lead to marriage, it could just be friendship. Once you take time to be friends, you will get the picture clearer, whether it’s love or just like. whether it’s acquittance or marriage. If it’s company or a relationship.
If you take time to build friendship before a marriage proposal, you will understand how hard it is to become good friends, and you won’t leave such friendship after marriage because it is going to be one of the most difficult things to do. Especially when you think of how far you have come, the memories that you cannot forget.
In conclusion, “Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family” – Proverbs 18:24 (MSG)…Written by Iliya D
