All wrong relationships may not be abusive, but all abusive relationships are wrong.
Relationship is the background of marriage. That means a faulty background would lead to a faulty marriage and a good relationship will surely end up as a good marriage.
“We can describe how Sunday will turn out judging by how Saturday is,” goes a Yoruba proverb. I have talk about abusive relationship severally, we have talked expressly and exhaustively about how to identify and break out from a wrong relationship.
I am sure that you have made a healthy decision that will lead you to joy and peace. In this article, our focus will be on coming out of an abusive relationship. Not all wrong relationships are abusive, but all abusive relationships are wrong. You may have been praying to God to lead you out of an abusive relationship.
This is your answer. You may be in an abusive relationship without knowing it. This is your light. You may be single now but have no wish to end up in an abusive relationship, this is your help. I want to charge you to be expectant. The knowledge you will get from this article will be highly expository and the wisdom behind it will liberate you.
Love And Comfort We will draw direction from the book of Genesis 24:67: And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s [death]. There are two major things I want you to focus on in that passage: love and comfort.
Any relationship you are involved in that does not bring you comfort and love is wrong and it is an abusive relationship. If the right person is in your life, the person will not bring you pains. I am not talking about challenges that may arise, but I am talking about someone inflicting pains on you.
Any love or relationship that is not bringing you comfort but pains is abusive. Counting The Cost Any abuse in your relationship is a red light telling you to take a break and count your cost. Some people may claim the ability to put up with the abuse. Putting up is not the issue, but you should sit down to count the cost and consider the implication of continuing with the relationship.
Jesus, while He was teaching in the Scriptures, mentioned that a man or lady who is building a home should start by counting their cost right from the foundation. He also stated that anyone faced with a battle or problem should also count their cost and determine whether to leave to fight for another day or rather face it headlong.
(Luke 14:28-32). Your decision is not as important, but it’s important that you first count what the future holds for the two of you. Take A Break Many get blindfolded and they can’t bring themselves to think about breaking loose.
We have seen people who decided to put up with what they are facing probably because of the material benefits attached or for other reasons best known to them. They have been beclouded with whatever those things are and so, they cannot think right or make a decision that will be to their benefits and their unborn children.
It is better to think beyond the present and project into the future. When a marriage is built on an abusive relationship, you won’t be the only one to bear the pain.
The children you will have in the marriage will share in it. Prevention, they say, is better than cure. You shouldn’t plan to treat a sickness that can be avoided altogether.
At the point of courtship and relationship, there is still a remedy. You can work against ending up in a hell of a marriage. Marriage Counselors are some of the busiest professionals today.
The reason is that there are too many troubled homes. But the problem started with the foundation. If we can properly address the problem from the root, then we will have many joyful homes in the society. I have seen troubled homes.
In fact, I see it all the times. I have also seen glorious homes. I know what a happy marriage looks like because I have one. This gives me the passion and desire to see that every young person out there gets it right.
But God led me I think the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard from people in abusive relationship is the claim that it was God that led them into it. I know of a business woman who gets beaten and abused by her husband. The man is the definition of irresponsibility.
He had no job and would even steal her money. This woman claimed that she married late because she was waiting solely in God’s direction. She said she even kept herself sexually as a child of God.
I felt sorry for her when she said that it was a prophet who told her that the man was her husband. She claimed to be waiting for God but she allowed herself to be led by a prophet. It wasn’t the prophet’s fault; it was her fault because she claimed she was a child of God.
She is an example of those I described as a foolish virgin in one of my messages titled “the foolish virgins”. She was waiting on God for a man, but she didn’t learn how to hear from God directly.
When you say God led you into an abusive relationship, you know you are deceiving yourself and something is wrong with the so-called conviction of yours. There are people who also claim God led them to an unbeliever.
They will even cite an example of Prophet Hosea in the Bible who was married to a harlot. No wonder their marriages are not better than that of Hosea. God is not a gambler. He will not gamble with your destiny.
If you want a marriage that will give you peace and comfort like Isaac’s, then you will not romance a relationship that brings you pain and distress claiming it was God that led you.