“Know the state of your flocks, and put your heart into caring for your herds, for riches don’t last forever, and the crown might not be passed to the next generation” (Proverbs 27:23-24).
Dear husbands, you must learn to keep your eyes on the state of your marriage, your love. You must put your heart into caring for it. Love can shrink, can get sick and can die.
Distress of love can make marriage sick, moribund or dead. Love and marriage need adequate nurturing and care to grow and be healthy. It’s when this happens that marriage can be a tent that provides good shelter for husband and wife and their children. Take to heart then this wise counsel: “Know the state of your flocks, and put your heart into caring for your herds, for riches don’t last forever, and the crown might not be passed to the next generation.”
If I were to write a marriage Bible for men, this verse would read thus: “Know the state of your marriage, and put your heart into caring for your family, for happiness doesn’t last forever, and peace might not be passed to the next generation.” One way to ensure adequate nurturing of love and marriage is to provide the needs of your partner especially things they will not outgrow and to do so in a rich and satisfying manner. Husbands must note these five things that their wives will not outgrow.
One, your wife will not outgrow TOUCH. Women like to be lovingly touched by their husbands. Stroke her hair after a nice hair do. Touch her nape when she least expects. Touch any part of her body when she walks past you. Making it a little painful at times can excite her. Efik people call the painful touch “mfenda.” Whereas you may get excited simply by looking at your wife, she gets excited and feels loved and needed when you touch her. When in doubt, allow her to take your hands to regions of delicate pleasure and be available for as long as it pleases her.
Two, your wife will not outgrow TALK. Talk to your wife even when it seems you have nothing to say. Sometimes, talking about beautiful nothingness can be very satisfying. Even if you deny your wife food, do not deny her talk. You may not know how much your wife values your talk until you stop talking to her. Talking to her makes her feel loved, valued and needed even if you are a bit “big-mouthed” or deliberately deceptive so long as your talk gives her hope, guarantees her your attention and puts her in the spotlight. But remember to talk to or talk with her; don’t talk at her if your desire is to maintain family happiness.
Three, your wife will not outgrow GIFTS, ie, receiving gifts from you. Her love and respect for you and her sense of value greatly depends on this. Do you remember the scripture that says, “A man’s gift maketh room for him” (Proverbs 18:16 KJV)? Good! Your gift makes room for you in your wife’s heart. This is likely one of the things that made her to accept your hand in marriage in the first place. Here are three gifts she will always delight taking from you: money, meat and mirrors. If these “three Ms” do not excite your wife, please, seek help. Women do not know how to outgrow taking gifts from their men. But prosecute this transaction wisely. It is not the magnitude of your gift that matters to her but its frequency. If you call your wife three times a day and speak to her for five minutes each time you impress her more than calling her once and talking for thirty minutes. If you give her N500 recharge card thrice a month, you win her love more not than you would giving her N1500 recharge card once a month. In addition to frequency, remember to add a talk (say something nice in addition) to each gift. She will see the gift in light of what you say.
Four, your wife won’t outgrow ROMANCE. She craves your kisses, your foreplay, your hugs, your caresses, your sucks, and your sex. They make her feel thoroughly feminine, loved and needed. Be lavish with these and deliver them with voluptuous skillfulness. This is what stands you out in her life as her husband. It’s a role only you can rightfully play in her life. It’s only from you she can take romance and orgasm without feeling guilty. So conquer her here thoroughly and know that it is not for nothing that many wives call their husbands “my lord.”
Finally, your wife will not outgrow JEALOUSY. Jealousy is an inure characteristic of women just like the imprint of a leopard. If you allow any woman to come too close to you, or enjoy an attention your wife feels she is the only one to enjoy, she will naturally feel jealous and may express it even if you contemplated no evil. If your wife finds you looking at a woman, she might accuse you of being lustful whereas you were only admiring a piece of God’s creation. Please, understand this part of her life and adjust to it. Do not try to wean her from this if you don’t want to be a loser.
Note to your advantage then, dear husband or husband-to-be that your wife will not outgrow touch, talk, gift, romance and jealousy. Be intentional in satisfying her on these perspectives and your family will be a happy one. Bless you noble husband.
