Names carry meaning, names carry identity, names carry destiny and one needs to be careful when it comes to naming their child. Yes, he is the biological father, no one can take that away from him but what is the essence in identifying himself with the child when he does not want to be in the child’s life?
It is very sad to know that many people believe being a father is getting a woman pregnant or fathers are just sperm donors, which is not true. Fatherhood goes beyond giving birth to a child or getting a woman pregnant. A father is responsible for the upbringing of the child he gives birth to. A father provides for his children, protects, teaches and guides them to become responsible.
Children learn from their fathers more than anyone. They copy the behaviour, lifestyles, etc of their fathers. Fathers are role models, mentors to their children. Children are very unfortunate or cursed when they have a father who is irresponsible, a crook who does what is wrong or evil. As a matter of fact, many of the problems we are having in this world are as a result of the lack of good fatherhood.
Not everyone is fortunate to have a father not to talk of a good one. Someone to look up to growing up, someone to provide their basic needs, someone to teach them, guide and mentor into responsible adults. Many children are rejected, neglected, ignored because of the relationship between their father and mother, which either went bad, sour or is no more. Something which was not the fault of the children.
No child asked you to cause them to come into this world, if you are not responsible, do the right thing, don’t get any woman pregnant. If you are not sure she is the right woman for you, don’t get into bed with her.
Ladies, before you get into bed with any man, make sure he is responsible, committed to you in the name of marriage, you can trust him as a father to your unborn babies; that you will be comfortable having children of the same character, lifestyle, etc.
Any man who will have unprotect sex with you, which eventually results in pregnancy, and denies the pregnancy, warns or forces you to get rid of the child or denies the child after birth is not a responsible man. It’s an error to name your child after such a man.
It is heart breaking to force or push men who are not willing to be in the life of an innocent child, to come and name or give a name to your child. The Bible cautions us to “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it” – Proverbs 22:6 NIV. Don’t confer the spirit of irresponsibility on your innocent child.
The man should name the child because he willing to be in the child’s life, and raise the child responsibly. Don’t use naming ceremony as paternity validation or DNA test. I am not advising women to deny their children access to their fathers or deny them their fathers. Give your child a responsible father. If the biological father is not responsible, get a responsible person to father the child.
By so doing, you won’t find yourself threatening an irresponsible father that you will take off his name from the child because he failed to do the right thing. Fatherhood goes beyond sending money for feeding, shelter or school fees. It is a lifetime job. One of the most demanding jobs in life is how to be a good father to your children.
In conclusion, “Children are fortunate if they have a father who is honest and does what is right” – Proverbs 20:7 (GNT).