You are not incapable of living and loving after an abusive relationship. You don’t lose an abuser, an abuser loses you. Your scars prove that you were in a battle and survived — not that you can’t be revived.
It’s not always easy to see life after abuse but I want you to remember one thing…you weren’t living, you were being abused. You weren’t loved, you were being denied love. You weren’t living you were dying slowly from the pain of hoping and wishing the wrong person would do the right thing.
Here’s the thing…when the “sunk-cost fallacy” creeps into our mind we can become reluctant to release a desire because we have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that releasing it is more beneficial than holding onto it. You invested heavily in the relationship, in saving the relationship, in saving them, and the sunk-cost fallacy will make letting them go feel like a loss.
Let me share something with you beloved…one person making an investment in a relationship doesn’t mean that the relationship is meant to be, a relationship is meant to be when two people are willing to make the same investment in the relationship for the same goal.
Think about this…Jesus invested heavily in the disciples but Judas still betrayed Him. That didn’t nullify Jesus’ love or investment, it confirmed that no matter how much love and effort you pour into someone that person still has free will of choice to reciprocate or reject your love and effort. You didn’t lose them, they lost you beloved. Your investment wasn’t wasted, your investment created a wealth of knowledge about love, what you deserve and what God meant when He said, “How can two walk together unless they agree.”
Abuse is not what you invested in or invested for. Abuse is what proves that they weren’t worthy of your investment. God has something better for you, someone worthy of you, and they had to be removed for God to do a new thing in your life. Healing will be required, it won’t be microwaveable, but you will discover that no weapon formed against shall prosper.
Your life isn’t over beloved, that chapter is over. God doesn’t put anything or anyone you need for your destiny in your history. Hold your head up, heal with help, and never forget that you were not built to crumbles