Okay! 𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙇𝙀 𝙂𝙐𝙔𝙎, pull your seats closer. Single ladies I taught yesterday should move to the back. It’s time for my brothers to learn. It’s another long but interesting read.
You see, when that time comes around for a man to find a woman to marry, there’s so much pressure, not just from family, but from the thought of some sort of inadequacy in certain areas of his life, the most prominent being financially. But the real problem is actually BEING UNINFORMED ABOUT MARRIAGE. But I’m here to help you sir(s). We kingdom boys help one another. That’s how we roll.
So let’s go through the lessons:
𝙇𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙊𝙉𝙀: 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙤 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙜𝙚.
You don’t get married because you’re old enough; you get married BECAUSE YOU’RE READY.
Many of you guys may think you’re ripe for marriage because you are 28 or 30. You’re wrong. It has nothing to do with age. It’s about knowing what you need to know as a man, as God has created you….. understanding your responsibilities as a man. This is what I will expound for you subsequently. Just follow me carefully….
So the point is, if you’re ready at 20, marry. If you’re ready at 30, marry. If you’re ready at 50, then marry. This is the truth. It’s about when you’re ready, not how old you are. You can’t marry because age is catching up on you. If you want to marry early, then learn about your responsibilities early, so that you can be ready early. Get it? It ain’t about age, it’s about being informed appropriately as a man.
Parents should stop forcing their boys to go and get married. You may push him into the opposite of the plan of God for him
𝙇𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙏𝙒𝙊: 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙞𝙥𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨.
To emancipate means “to separate from”. In order for you to be ready to bring a woman into your life, you MUST separate from your family. It’s a scriptural concept.
𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒔 2:24. 𝑺𝒐 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒇𝒆, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒉.
By emancipation, I don’t just mean leaving the house and getting your own place. I mean, preparing your mind to have another person as number 1 in your heart that is not your mother or any other member of your family. You cannot have your mother as number 1 in your heart and want to marry another woman. That’s how many men pick the words of their mother over the words of their wife. Big mistake. Marriages have been destroyed by that. Once you begin to think of marriage, prepare to have mummy as number 2 in your heart. It’s harsh, but it’s the truth. There’s only one space for number 1, and once you get married, it’s for your wife.
Now that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love your mother. As a matter of fact, any man who doesn’t love his mother cannot love another woman. So you can love and adore your mother, but you cannot place her over your wife. If you’re still a “mummy’s boy”, you’re not ready for marriage. There is a need to separate physically, emotionally, mentally, and even financially, from your family. Love them, but separate from them. That’s how you can run your own family better. Remember, Genesis 2:24 was written even before anyone called anyone father and mother. So God saw the need for you as a man to detach from your family, so that you can be your own man.
𝙇𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙏𝙃𝙍𝙀𝙀: 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪!
As a man, your first responsibility is to TEACH AND INSTRUCT YOUR FAMILY. This is what makes you THE HEAD. God places that responsibility on you to guide your family. Whatsoever you teach your family, they will carry it to the next generation. This means that, whether your generation will thrive or die off is dependent on you! If you teach your family what is good, they will carry on a legacy that is good. If you leave something bad, they will pollute your generation. 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒐𝒇 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏.
This is why it is important for you to BE FILLED WITH THE RIGHT INFORMATION FOR YOUR FAMILY. It is why you need to be born again, and know the Lord, so that you can instruct your family in the way of the Lord. If all you do is smoke, drink, go clubbing, gamble, and hang out with terrible friends, most assuredly, your children will grow to copy this, and they will train their own children with these same attitudes. That’s how you wipe the memory of Jesus from a generation over time, leaving loopholes for the devil to destroy that generation.
Remember in the Garden of Eden, after God finished creating Adam, He gave Adam all the rules and regulations of the garden, before He created Eve. Therefore, nowhere in the Bible was it recorded that God instructed Eve about anything. But you remember that when the snake asked Eve about what God said, Eve quoted God’s exact instruction to the snake (Genesis 3:2-3). So HOW DID SHE KNOW ABOUT IT? If God didn’t give Eve the same instructions as He gave Adam, how did Eve know what to say?
The answer is simple: Adam carried out his responsibility as a man, by instructing his wife in the way of the Lord. He taught his wife what God taught him. He taught her the word.
Sir, it is your primary responsibility to TEACH YOUR WIFE THE WORD OF GOD! God gave her to you to teach her, train her, instruct her, guide her, and bring her up in the way of God. If she is flooping in her spiritual life, GOD HOLDS YOU RESPONSIBLE!
Does it now make sense why, even though Eve was the one that initiated the disobedience, GOD HELD ADAM RESPONSIBLE? So even though sin came into the world because of woman, MAN WAS HELD RESPONSIBLE.
Brother, are you ready for the responsibility to properly instruct and teach your family? Or do you just want the feeling of being called “husband” and “father”?
Do you know what God said about Abraham in 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒔 18:19? He said:
𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝑶𝑹𝑫, 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒋𝒖𝒅𝒈𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕; 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝑶𝑹𝑫 𝒎𝒂𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒑𝒐𝒏 𝑨𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒉𝒂𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒊𝒎. (𝑲𝑱𝑽)
And God was right about him. Because Abraham instructed his family in the way of the Lord, he bred generations that exist till this very day. Many great men of the Bible came from Abraham….. We have Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Joshua, David, Solomon, even JESUS. And today we even sing to claim Abraham’s blessings. That’s because Abraham taught his family well.
With the kind of mindset you have as a single man now, do you think you can groom a generation that will breed mighty men? Do you have enough knowledge to teach and instruct your generation? Think about it while you prepare for marriage.
𝙇𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙁𝙊𝙐𝙍: 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙤𝙙𝙚𝙡 𝙅𝙚𝙨𝙪𝙨.
I tell people, the relationship between a man and a woman is patterned in the very same way as the relationship between Jesus and His Bride (the church). So the man here is Jesus, and the woman is the Church.
As a single man, I say to you, 𝑷𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒂𝒏𝒔 2:5, 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒕 𝑱𝒆𝒔𝒖𝒔. Develop Jesus’ mindset.
As Jesus loves His bride, so are you to love your wife. As Jesus teaches His bride, so are you to teach your wife. As Jesus never hurts His bride, so are you to never hurt your wife. As Jesus protects and cares for His bride, so are you to protect and care for your wife. As Jesus pays attention to His bride, so are you to pay attention to your wife. As a man, just learn the exact way Jesus treats His bride, the church, and prepare yourself to treat your wife that same way.
You know, what a woman submits to is not actually the man, but THE CHARACTER OF JESUS IN THE MAN.
𝑬𝒑𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒂𝒏𝒔 5:22, 𝑾𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒔, 𝒔𝒖𝒃𝒎𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒉𝒖𝒔𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝑨𝑺 𝑼𝑵𝑻𝑶 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑳𝑶𝑹𝑫. It means, the same way we all (the church) submit to the Lord, a wife should submit to her husband. That means he models Jesus. He has the character of Jesus. He thinks like Jesus. That’s the man a woman can submit to.
If a man does not have the character of Jesus, how can a woman submit? What does the woman submit to? You spend time in bars, hang out with riffraffs, come back and speak to your wife anyhow, disrespect her, and then ask her to submit? How does that work? What exactly is she submitting to?
It is because of not understanding submission that so many women are slaves in their so-called marriages. The man is about to kill you, but you remain there because the Bible says submit? Do you even study the Bible well? You will die in that kind of submission! But this is a topic for another day.
Brothers, if you have the tendency to control women and force them to do your bidding, in the name of making them submit, you should stop thinking of marriage. 𝑨𝒏𝒚 𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒅𝒆𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕.
𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁; 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗶𝘁.
𝑺𝒖𝒃𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒊𝒔 𝒂 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑳𝑭𝑼𝑳 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒚. It has to be willful. Just as we WILLFULLY SURRENDERED our lives to Jesus without Him forcing us to do it, so should a wife be able to willfully submit to her husband without him forcing her to do it.
If she’s not submitting to you, check to make sure you have the character of Jesus…. THE CHARACTER OF LOVE. It is the love of Jesus that softened us enough to submit to Him. In the same way, you are to love your wife with everything, so that it becomes very much easier for her to place herself under your authority as the man….. WILLFULLY!
𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙘𝙚 𝙖 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙪𝙗𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣; 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙪𝙗𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣.
By love, I mean, NO MATTER WHAT SHE DOES! That’s how Jesus loves His bride. He loves us even when we misbehave, and is patient enough for us to return to Him. He is always FAITHFUL AND JUST to have us back, because He loves us.
That’s how a man should love his wife. No matter what she has done, YOU CAN’T HATE HER. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO! You just patiently teach her, with so much love and affection. She has to feel more of the love than the rebuke. That’s how Jesus does it to us. Am I making sense?!
So you see, there’s a lot to prepare for before you think of marriage. Make all the money you can, and secure yourself some financial strength, as they are wise decisions to make. But more importantly than these, prepare to be your family’s teacher, to take responsibility for your generation, and to model Jesus for your family.
