Home Relationships IF PRIVACY MATTERS TO YOU, DON’T GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP

IF PRIVACY MATTERS TO YOU, DON’T GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP

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The mobile phone is one device couples fight over frequently in a relationship or marriage. To one partner they can share everything with their spouse except the mobile phone, when you ask why they cannot do that, they cite privacy as a reason.

To the other partner, they suspect their partner has something to hide or is doing something wrong that is why they don’t want them to have access to their phone. The fact that a mobile phone is small and can fit into one’s pocket does not mean issues relating to it is small and cannot break their union.

Anytime we want to be in a relationship or get married, what we are saying is we don’t want to be alone; we willingly want to compromise our privacy. We want to share our lives with someone we consider special. Someone we can trust, love, who is a friend.

Before the relationship you had your own space, room, walls etc which no one interfered with. Whoever comes into that space without your permission is trespassing. In the same way the behaviour you put up in your space or privacy does not affect those who are not with you, but it has a direct impact on the person you allow into your space through a relationship.

When you are single the law recognizes you as single, and when you get married you are recognized as such, and as a union. Therefore, your partner’s norms, culture, beliefs, activities affect you as well. You cannot be in a relationship with someone and act as if you are alone. Once you want to get married to someone, you want to share every aspect of your life with them. You are making yourself vulnerable to the person but you trust they will protect you or that you are safe with them.

The mobile phone holds lots of information or gives access to information about the user. These days you can know about someone’s friends, family, colleagues, location, etc through their phone. You can know about their occupation, income, business, medical history, past relationships, etc through the phone.

That is how powerful the phone is. Getting married to someone means you want to share your phone as well with them because it’s one medium by which someone can know much about you. Once you start hiding your phone from your partner, lover or spouse, you are either saying you are not trustworthy or you don’t trust them. There is so much about us on our phones that if we try to conceal those information from our partner and use privacy as an excuse, we are not being transparent.

Many of the fights couples have over the phone, is not just about the device but the user. If you are not trustworthy, don’t ask anyone to marry you or get into a relationship with them. Telling them to marry you or be in a relationship with you equals to telling them to trust you. No relationship can work without trust. And if you don’t trust them, don’t propose to them.

Therefore one does not need to force their partner to share their phones with them. If he or she is not comfortable doing that willingly but cites privacy, they are basically saying they are not willing to share their life with you.

You cannot become one with such a person. Your marriage to them has no future. People need to know the thin line between privacy and relationships such as marriage. Once you ask someone to marry you or you agree to marry someone, you are simply telling them you want to be one with them. What seems to be private to you is no longer private to them.

, “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable” – Hebrews 4:13 (NLT).

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