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EXCUSES PEOPLE MAKE TO STAY IN A WRONG RELATIONSHIP

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It is better to start a strong relationship and maintain it with little prayers than to initiate a wrong relationship and try to maintain it with powerful prayers.– Elizabeth Ife-Adetona
I want to believe that by now, you should know precisely if you are in a wrong relationship or not.

You don’t need any counsellor or adviser to explain further to you. You don’t need to argue with your conscience. The truth has no color. It is the truth or it is not. Facts can be denied, but we cannot change them. In this chapter, I am going to talk about the excuses people often make to stay in a wrong relationship.

I Would Rather Be With Him Or Her Than Be Alone.

Many are actually in wrong relationships because they don‟t want to be alone. They don‟t want to lose that “engaged” status. They don’t mind what it would cost their destinies as long as they tell their peers that they are in a relationship.

There are several sisters who are in a relationship or who hold on to a wrong relationship because they don’t want to join the singles class when it is time for relationship talk when they go to camps.

I Can Cope.

Many people know that the relationship they are in is heading nowhere. They know many things are wrong with it, but they hold on to it believing that they can cope. They tell themselves that there is no perfect relationship and so they remain there.

I Am In Love.

Another excuse people make to remain in a wrong relationship is that they claim to be in love. The fact is, any love that is not laid on Christ will crash eventually. You may not want to leave a beautiful and expensive house even though you were warned that it has no solid foundation, but it is just a matter of time before it collapses with you in it.

We Have Had Sex.

People find it difficult to leave a relationship where they have been having sex. This affects the female gender the most. They hang on to a wrong relationship just because they have been having sex. They feel coming out of such will make them feel used.

We Have A Child Already.

As strong as this reason may be, it is not enough reason to remain in a wrong relationship. The mistake has been made already; don’t make bigger mistakes by holding on to it. It is a danger zone.

I Am Hanging On Till Mr. Right Comes Around.

Brothers may make this excuse, but it is more rampant with sisters. They want to stay with Mr. Wrong while waiting for Mr. Right. What people in this category fail to understand is that even if the right person is around you, he would see you as unavailable.

The signs and signals that will come from you express that you are engaged no matter how much you try to hide it. And if that Mr. Right you are expecting is a child of God, who relies on the leading of the Holy Spirit, you can be sure that the God that sees your secret will not direct His son to you. The right thing to do is to quit such a relationship. Do the right thing and the right man will come around in a matter of time.

We Are Committed To Each Other.

Many claim that they have introduced each other to their parents and everyone knows they are in a relationship.

All that doesn’t matter compared to the risk before you. All those people you are concerned about will back out with time and you will be left alone in the marriage. So, it is wrong and dangerous to allow people’s opinion to make you stick to a wrong relationship.

I Don’t Want To Hurt His Feelings.

This could be with a male or female. You are overly concerned about them because you have been together for a very long time and it can break them if you quit the relationship. But I want you to know that it is not worth your life.

Whatever they feel today is mere feelings, and feelings do not last. It will pass. In the nearest future, you will be grateful that you took the step. If your partner is also concerned about fulfilling God’s purpose for their lives, they will also be grateful to you. It is impressed upon my Spirit to mention that this decision is personal. It is not the type that you wait for the other party to agree to.

I Will Change Him Or Her.

It is self-deception to think you can change a person with whom you are in a wrong relationship. This is because it is only God that can change a person and this God is not in that relationship with you. You refused to listen or yield to the voice of the Holy Spirit as touching the relationship because if you did, you wouldn’t be there.

So, how do you think that person will be able to listen to or obey the Holy Spirit? They can’t hear or listen and that means they can’t change. If they would change at all, it would be after you have left their life.

There is a place God has prepared for you, a place where you won’t have to manage or endure, but where you will keep enjoying. And if you don’t leave the wrong relationship, you will not get to see that place or get there.

Age Is Not On My Side.

This is another excuse people give. They have probably wasted their time in wrong relationships or in a boyfriend and girlfriend affair and now, they are hooked up in a relationship which is also a wrong one. This time around, however, they cannot bring themselves to quit the relationship because age is no longer on their side.

Let me tell you, the best time to quit a wrong relationship was yesterday, another best time is now. There is no right reason to be in a wrong relationship. Quitting it is the only way you can open your life up for the right person to come in. Marriage is a lifetime journey and you cannot afford to spend the rest of your life with a wrong person just as you wouldn’t want to fly by air with a truck driver disguised as a pilot.

He Is Good Enough For Me.

This is when you have concluded within your heart that there is no perfect man or lady anywhere. You feel that even if you lose this person, the person who would come will probably not be perfect and may not even be better than the person at hand. There may not be a perfect person, but whoever God gives to you is the perfect person for you.
Wherever God leads you is the perfect place to be. You shouldn’t be in that corner thinking that that is the best you can ever get.

I Will Pray.

This excuse always cracks me up. It’s just like a man who built a weak foundation but is determined to construct a very strong building on it.

It is better to start a strong relationship and maintain it with brief prayers than to start a wrong relationship and try to maintain it with powerful prayers. Is it not an irony that you didn’t pray before starting the relationship but want to pray to keep it going?

Who Will Marry Me?

This is the last excuse I will talk about why people remain in a wrong relationship. This is common with ladies, but men also give this excuse.

It could be that the lady has had abortions as a result of being in the relationship, lost her womb or have a disability which she feels will make no one to marry her except that man.

The first mistake here is that you should not look for who will marry you. You are to look unto God, the Author and the Finisher of your faith. You are to trust God to help your situation and put you in the place where He wants you to fulfill purpose.

I would like to close this chapter by saying that none of these excuses are worth your life and peace. Many want to enjoy marriage but end up in the jail of marriage. And I know you don‟t want that to be your portion. That is the more reason you shouldn’t remain in that relationship.

Let us consider the analogy of a thirty-year-old man or lady who gets married to the wrong person and lives for 70 years. It means that such a person would spend 40 years of the rest of their life in a wrong marriage. Think about that!

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