It’s rather unfortunate that many people believe the prime age for marriage is the mid-twenties and the early thirties. We see lots of people rushing to get married at that time and if for one or two reasons, the person is not able to get married at the said time, they think there is something wrong with them and might end up never getting married.
It is not about getting married early that makes your marriage the best or a good one. It’s not about marrying late that makes it the worst or a bad one. It is about marrying right; which is marrying with the right mindset, motive and understanding. Marriage is not a trend or fashion one must follow blindly.
There are lots of people dying out of loneliness because they feel they cannot find someone who will love them, who will get married to them. We have grown men or women who are longing to get married but with the mindset that marriage is for the young. They try to cope with their loneliness by putting pressure on their sons and daughters to give them grandchildren. But that is not what they are missing, who said love is just for the young? It is never too late to find love no matter your age.
There are single people out there with one or two children who believe marriage is all about having children with someone and once they have children without marriage, no one will find them worthy of marriage. Such people are so much attached to their children because of loneliness. What they are missing is a partner.
There are children out there who need fathers and mothers. You can become their parent through marriage. But with the mindset that someone’s children are theirs alone and you can have a child of your own only when you get married, is making people push away those who want to get married to them but already have kids.
Family is not only through blood relation; we can become family through marriage too. We all refer to ourselves us children of God. Who can say he or she has seen God before and that God gave birth physically to him or her. We don’t have to give birth to a child to be able to love them, accept them or adopt them as ours. We can do that though love and marriage.
People want to be loved, to be married, to belong to a family. The absence of that is creating scars in their hearts and it is difficult to heal because they don’t talk about it, and moreover it’s not something physical one can see. We are supposed to be agents of change. We are not what happened to us. We are what we choose to become. We can be happy by doing what makes us happy instead of accepting and living with what is killing us.
Marriage is not all about roles and duties, marriage is not all about giving birth and raising children, marriage is not all about taking care of the household, cooking meals and washing things, marriage is not all about giving money for upkeep and paying bills.
Marriage is about having a lifetime friend with whom you share your life with and grow together with, it is not time bound. At any time you find the right person, you should enjoy your relationship and live life to the fullest. It’s about having someone you go to after a stressful day, it is about having a hand to hold, a friend to take a walk with, paddy to talk to about anything without being judged or tagged a talkative; it’s about having someone you can watch the sky with like children do, someone you can play with no matter your age.
Someone you can hold tight at night when the weather is cold, it’s about having someone you can share your dreams, plans, visions, ideas with, it’s about having someone who makes you feel you are not alone, that you matter, you are important, you are loved, you are special.
You can marry at any age, not just mid 20s or 30s. You can marry at 40years, 50 years, 60years, 70years, 80years, 90years, 100years. The basic goal or call of marriage is companionship so the fact that you cannot have a child does not mean you cannot marry. The fact that you have a child already does not mean you cannot marry.
Your marriage is not better because you married at a young age. Someone’s marriage won’t be bad because he or she married someone with grey hair or a wrinkled face. Marriage is not about finding a perfect face or skin, it’s about finding love and we do that with our hearts not our eyes..
“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NLT).
