I discovered an evil in this generation of ours, we have single women that don’t ask questions, they are too passive, too cold. See, what a guy needs is a lady that will push him, a lady that keeps him on his toes. A lady that makes you uncomfortable to do the needful. Am not talking about recharge cards girls, chicken and chips girls, shawarma babes etc, but ladies with purpose.
Listen up ladies! You are a disaster waiting to happen if you are in relationship with a guy that Don’t have any plan whatsoever for you and you refused to ask questions that will provoke his silence. These days you hear series of stories about ladies in Relationship for 4, 5 years without any plan not to talk of heading for the aisle. As a counselor, I receive messages bothering on long term relationship without goal almost everyday!
Ask questions, challenge him. Let him know you are not just a lady but the one with a purpose. Ask questions on his plan, vision, dreams, mission, marriage, parenting, spirituality, finance, sex etc. Even if there is delay, you know what and what you are working on. If a guy cannot answer you convincingly on these areas, please run for your dear life. The problem these days is that we have many single women who are interested in materiality than purpose. The “I-dont-care” type of ladies so far the “do” is coming in, chaiiiii.
When my wife and I were dating (Not even courting), it wasn’t as if I didn’t have the goal of marriage at heart but I was a free thinker and also trying to be careful at the same time. I used to put her in a neutral mode, even in my heart infact I used to tell her then that if she see another person she likes, she’s totally free to go. I didn’t force it. Though a friend advised me against it such mentality, I remained adamant. But the day she asked me about the plan I have for her I was shocked. I had to sit down, think deeply about it.
Then I was still living with my parents, though of age, her challenge pushed me to go rent an apartment. She said and I quote “You need privacy not because of me but because of YOU, there are things you need to get and we also need to discuss, but if you are still living with your parent I wonder how these could be possible” chaiiiii I almost fainted. That’s a sign of a lady with purpose. She challenged me, she provoked my silence. Though I didn’t really have much to rent an apartment then, I took the step of faith and worked towards it. The rest they say is history.
Dear single men, it is wickedness at its peak if you are in Relationship with a lady without the goal of marriage. Why wasting her precious time because of indecision? Let her know where she stands. This is a wake up call, a challenge to do the needful. Even if you don’t have much in terms of finance, let her know. Give her the much needed assurance, not the “davido” assurance 😀 if you don’t have money, don’t try that. Tell her your plan. Some guys even proposed without any plan, thereby turning the lady to “Lord of the ring” do the needful.
The most painful part of it is that after the lady has sacrificed her time, body, money, pleasure etc, to the point of refusing many proposals, the guy will now unveil the unexpected. The more reason why there is high rate of suicide and mental illness. This shouldn’t be so, let her know from the beginning where she stands. Abi, what’s even the essence of a relationship not headed for the aisle? Every responsible relationship must be defined from the beginning.
Ladies, wake up from slumber. Do the needful. And Guys stop wasting their precious time, be open.
God is helping us.
You know I love you. Keep taking all necessary precautionary measures to combat the corona virus. Together we will win!… Written by Danjuma Iliya
