Many people are so keen on looking out for MEGA red flags in their partners, so much that they forget to watch out for silent warning signs.
There are certain silent indicators you must look out for that proves that you are in a healthy relationship.
I call them safe places.
1) Whether you are the jealousy type or not, ensure you are in a relationship where you can hear your partner’s phone ring off without feeling an immediate urge to look at it, or have that nervousness to see who they are texting, because you trust each other. If you have this kind of an atmosphere where you are both transparent with your private space in your relationship, it’s a safe place.
2) Getting into a fight and realizing that fight doesn’t automatically mean you’re going to break up, or that your partner will stop calling or avoid your calls. You just know its a slight misunderstanding that won’t be allowed to linger. This is an amazing safe place, fight and reconcile without even the devil noticing anything was wrong.
3) I’m sure you want to be in a relationship where you can go out with your friends and not be bombarded by texts and calls from your partner asking what you’re doing or where are you. A relationship where no one is controlling anyone but both of you are responsible and accountable to each other. That’s a safe place.
4) Being able to be alone with your partner’s family, especially their mom, lol, for more than five minutes without wanting to disappear from that atmosphere is a very special safe place. That point where you see your partner’s family like they are yours. It’s a big win for your marriage.
5) I wish you understand this, but to be able to get to that place in your relationship where you don’t HAVE to engage in sexual intimacy to prove that you love your partner, it’s a priceless safe place. That kind of an Amos 3:3 situation where you are both keeping your sexual purity without any pressure to prove your love.
6) There is so much peace in getting to that point in your relationship where you don’t have to password your phone or hide it everytime you are together, with both of you having full access to each other’s phones. Oh, joy!
7) Taking care of each other when one of you is sick is a very underrated safe place. That level when your partner is happy to take care of you when you’re not feeling well, and not acting like they don’t care.
8) Feeling comfortable enough to totally be yourselves around each other. If you still have to pretend like you don’t fart around your partner then you both still have a long way to go. Being able to be YOU in front of your partner indicates a level of comfort and trust that is amazing to have.
9) Not feeling pressured to write about how great your relationship is on social media because you don’t need to. There’s nothing wrong with letting the world know how you feel about bae. But when you feel the need to make a spectacle of your relationship on Social media every single day, watch the need to showoff for public validation.
There are more, but these are just the basic things that are supposed to apply to any healthy relationship. Let nobody fool you with all that ‘different strokes for different folks’ settlement mentality. These strokes are applicable to all folks who want to make good progress with you towards marriage, unless you have decided to settle for what is available.
If one or more of these safe places are missing in your relationship, address it BOLDLY now, or endure it quietly later.
