Some people believe social media sites like Facebook destroy relationships or marriages and when they get into a relationship or get married, they force their partner to deactivate their account or delete it. To them, it’s the best way to save the relationship. When their partner refuses, they tag Facebook as the problem.
Social media or Facebook does not destroy relationships or marriages because it didn’t make the relationship or marriage in the first place. Social media is just a tool we use. People can use it positively or negatively. One can use it for business, others for finding friends, family or a partner. Others for communication, some use it to learn and get news updates, etc.
What social media like Facebook becomes depends on the one using it. For example, to Kwame, it’s a news portal or outlet to get the latest news and updates; to Ama, it’s a marketplace to sell products, reach customers. We need to know its usage varies from beautiful to ugly.
One can use tools like a knife to open a package, others can use it for cutting fruits or vegetables, whilst someone can use it to commit a crime. The use of a knife as a tool varies from one person to another. Same with Social media.
Social media as a tool, also connects people, so one can meet all sorts of people there. Good or bad, it’s up to an individual to know who to accept as a friend, which group or forum to belong or join or follow. Just as we decide which church to attend or belong to, which wedding to attend or which invitation to accept, etc.
The good thing is, you have the power to choose, pick, join, view, etc. It’s not the foundation for one’s relationship or marriage. As a matter of fact, it has nothing to do with it. Deleting a Facebook account cannot make or break one’s relationship or marriage.
If couples are having an issue because of a Facebook account, they should rather focus on the issue and leave Facebook alone. Facebook does not force people against their wish to be on it. It does not install itself on one’s phone or device, it does not join a page or group or choose a friend for one. If a partner decides to spend all their time on Facebook than on their relationship or marriage, it’s their choice and not Facebook.
Facebook does not cause one to cheat on their partner, it does not cause one to disrespect their partner. They do because they want to. If they are using Facebook to cheat on their partner, Facebook is not the problem, the root cause is the person. Deal with that, leave Facebook alone.
If a knife is used to commit murder, we don’t arrest the knife but the one who used it. The knife is just a piece of evidence or weapon used in the crime. If the person wants to kill, they will always find a way to do that, with or without the knife. A partner who wants to cheat can do so whether they are on Facebook or not.
Sometimes we deceive ourselves into thinking that, when you take your partner’s phone from them or delete their account, it will stop them from cheating or making time for the relationship. We are only teaching them to find a new and smarter way to cope. If you have an issue with your partner or relationship find a healthy way to resolve the issue, if you are not successful, get an expert or counselor to help you. I will be glad to help you.
“A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance” – Proverbs 28:13 (TLB).