Lots of couples tied the knot this afternoon and the unmarried at these events were so excited for them. At the same time and place, some were jealous and envious. They wished they were the ones getting married. Whilst some are imagining how their night will be. People anticipate the first night after the marriage ceremony to be such a blissful one because the couple now have the license and freedom to have the best sex.
Well, it’s not always true that couples have the best sexual experience on their wedding night. It takes a lot for the two to enjoy sex as a couple. This is because of our differences (male and female). It’s easy for the man to get satisfaction but it is not so for the woman. Whilst the man sees this as a physical activity, it takes lots of emotional connection to get the woman to connect with the man.
If the marriage ceremony was a stressful one, it might affect sex that night. Besides that, she must feel loved, appreciated. It’s not how strong the man is, but how gentle he is with her, understanding and patient with her. Many at times couples rush into sex and that ruins the experience.
The scripture is not wrong when Moses passed a law that, “When a man is newly married, he is not to be drafted into military service or any other public duty; he is to be excused from duty for one year, so that he can stay at home and make his wife happy” – Deuteronomy 24:5 (GNT). It will take a newly married man a year (365 days) without working to make the wife happy.
Sex is an act that two people can learn and give each other the pleasure and satisfaction. Since it is a learning process, it needs time, the patience and attention to become better with it in time. Couples who desire to have sexual fulfillment can have it in their marriage if they have the heart of a learner and a teacher; the willingness to learn about their spouse and the ability to teach their spouse.
This is a long-term project and not something that needs to be rushed. It is therefore important to have a partner who is willing to be with you until the end of time to embark on such a journey or learning or discovery. Than to just go out to get someone who is good when it comes to the act of sex.
Marriage offers you a stable and long-term relationship to embark on that. And there is nothing wrong with getting married to someone who has zero experience in sex. As a matter of fact, they are the best persons to experience that with.
To the woman, sex goes beyond the bedroom, she needs to be connected with the husband emotionally outside the bedroom to be able to enjoy sex with him. Sex is special to her and dear to her. She wants it with a man who loves her, puts her first, who adores her, who talks to her always, who listens to her, who gives the attention she needs, who meets her needs, who she is secure with. That is why it hurts her that much to find out after sex that she meant nothing to the man. She feels used.
She will want a man who will hold her close after sex, not a man who is in hurry to leave after sex. She wants a man who talks to her after sex and not the one who will reach for his phone for social media post or chat someone else soon after. She wants the man she will fall asleep with after sex and not the one who sleeps and leaves her awake. Sex means security to her and marriage offers her that.
That is why it’s embarrassing to see a woman out there looking for a man good in bed instead of a man who loves them. Why not a man who will be good in bed with you? You can teach a man to please you in bed but you cannot teach a man to love you.
Look for someone you can talk to about everything on anything at any time, for such a person will make time to talk to you after sex. Look for someone who puts you first, adores you, understands you; it will take such a person to stay connected after sex. Sex joins the body but it does not join the soul or the heart, so look for a man who loves you, a soul mate and not a body mate.
In conclusion, “Whoever loves strong teaching loves much learning, but he who hates strong words is foolish” – Proverbs 12:1 (NLV).
