If someone believes in you, he won’t be looking for a short period of happiness from you
When sex becomes the reason why a relationship stops half way, it will be almost impossible to justify our action. At that point, we are only telling everyone else that we have no future with the same person we want sex from.
Nobody gives up on someone he believes he has a future with.
Sex could create a very short period of happiness. If sex gives us everything, why would someone who has it last night be angry for not getting it today?
People who hate you for not giving sex have also had it before. The one they had before never kept their happiness and why would today’s own have the magic of keeping their happiness?
You are not the first person they want it from but for the fact that sex does not solve our happiness problem, giving sex to anyone now is just opening a door for him or her to want some more. And the more you give, the less happier they are.
I’m yet to see one man or woman who could say, ‘Wow, I’m so happy because I had sex last week and that could take me through life’. Sex is not the success you are looking for.
More sex is not more happiness.
Years back, I was in a home where I saw a very beautiful young girl with black spots on her skin. I asked one of her sisters about the dots and she told me that a doctor assumed that its as a result of lack of sex and for that reason, their mother contracted a guy who came to live with them only to be having sex with her. The young man was excited at first to the privilege of coming to such a prestigous family to have sex with their beautiful daughter. They even promised to send him to Spain if he did well.
Two weeks after the young man was in his new job, he climbed through their fence and escaped. He got tired and frustrated at doing nothing but having sex with a sick young lady whose mind is also lost. The young lady needs psychiatric evaluation and prayers, and not sex. The young man needs a life and not sex contract. The happiness he assumed he was about having failed. He jumped fence. Why would he jump fence if sex was something of admiration?
A young girl was with her boy friend who was crying asking her for sex. The young man said to her, ‘If you give it to me, I will be happy for you’. The young girl looked at him and said, ‘But it will make me unhappy about you and I don’t want to be unhappy and I don’t care about who is happy or not happy with me’. Case closed from there.
It is quiet impossible for anyone to convince you that sex makes him or her happy about you. That means that you don’t have anyother value you represent if having sex is what draws someone to you. You should be valued by who you are. Someone should see something in you beyond sexual relationship.
A lot of women have ended up at abortion clinics alone without the same people that impregnanted them because they were trying to make someone happy, and yet, after that, the happiness never stayed. The same men still looked for other women to have sex with and abandoned them in their pregnancy period
Trying to please someone with sex does not guarantee his or her happiness towards you. I have heard women complained that their angry husabnds turned to them and said, ‘The only thing you are good at is sex’. If sex controls happiness, those married men would not be complaining.
Sex is like where people claim that being drunk heals their pains. After being drunk, you will still wake up from your stupor to face what you were running from. After sex, you will still realize that the feeling of satisfaction you had will be gone in a while and more feeling for sex will return. And running to satisfy this feeling will ruin you for the rest of your life and not giving you happiness.
Relationship should be about discovering values and building them. It shouldn’t just be emotional hunt.
