It is difficult to love again when you give all your love and all you have to someone you are in a relationship with, and it turns out to be a disaster. You coil back into your shell, build thick walls around you and find it difficult to love or trust someone with your heart, time and attention. The thought of love scares you.
We do this to ourselves not because we cannot love again but because we don’t know who to trust or who is worth our heart, for we see our heart to be very fragile and can easily be broken. Loving a wrong person should not prevent you from loving again and for that reason, I have provided you with some tips on who to love if you have to love again. For love is such a beautiful thing, we cannot live without loving.
First of all, you need to know that as human beings we are different, not just by our physical appearance but by our attitude, habit and character. Somebody can look like you, come from the same home town but have a different attitude and character. That is why you don’t have to be hard on yourself when relationships turn out to be what you don’t want.
You don’t have to hate yourself because you wasted your time on someone in the name of a relationship. You don’t have to start questioning yourself, that how could you have let yourself fall for such a person, as they turned out to be a waste of time. You don’t have to feel disgusted for letting some people into your life. What you need to do is to learn, for we get to know people better at the end of a relationship.
Meeting someone with the right job, making the right amount of income, having the right looks (stature, face, smile) does not make them the right person to fall in love with. You need someone who also respects and loves you. Someone who wants you to be happy even if they are not part of your happiness.
Fall in love with someone who sees all the negatives about you, your struggles, your worries, battles, illness and chooses to stay and not just that but also stand by your side and help you fight them. When you meet someone, who runs away from you or whose attitude changes towards you because they now know your struggles, negatives and battles, they are telling you one thing which is “I don’t love you”.
Fall in love with someone who challenges and inspires you to be the best. Even when you see yourself at the bottom, they see you at the top. They don’t fail to remind you of your strengths, how good you are whenever you feel down or whenever you talk about your weakness or things you are bad at. Fall in love with someone who makes you see the impossible possible, someone who makes you develop mentally not just someone who makes you fall in love with them.
Fall in love with someone who makes it easy to love, someone who does not make you feel you are hard to please, you are difficult to love, you are difficult to be with. Someone you can easily talk to, play with, have fun with, laugh with.
Fall in love with someone who is interested in the little details about you such as your favourite colour, how you want your food prepared and are ready to learn from you or prepare it with you or for you. Fall in love with someone who wants to dream about you and wake up with you alone, and not someone who is just interested in laying down with you. Fall in love with someone who is proud of having you in their life, who praises you in front of others and not someone who only praises others in front of you. Someone who shows you off to anyone they know.
Falling in love with someone with the above mentioned will make you question your fear of falling in love again. Keep in mind that no human is perfect and falling in love with them does not mean they must love everything you do but they should have a big room in their heart to accommodate your flaws, forgive you often and easily.
In conclusion “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love makes up for many of your faults” – 1 Peter 4:8 (TLB).
