It’s the little things that break relationships and marriages.
After each counselling session, as the couples walk out I realize one thing: the fall of relationships and marriages it’s not because of big fights but the small issues that have gone unresolved for years.
Almost every one who is married loves their spouse but it is the little things that get in the way to the point that love is not felt. Every couple that has come to see me do so because the husband and wife love each other but the small issues have hardened their hearts and grown to something major.
The small issues could be failure to speak loving words such as “I love you”. This failure once prolonged grows to become the monster called insecurity.
Small issues could be speaking to your spouse with a harsh tone or condescending tone. This tone plants seeds of indifference and competition.
Small issues could be coming home late night after night, perhaps for legitimate reasons. This grows into a feeling of loneliness and abandonment.
Small issues could be praising others more than your spouse. This grows into feelings of contempt.
Small issues could be lack of appreciation and lack of the words “Thank you” This lack grows into feelings of being used and you two start doing less for each other.
Small issues could be how you use your phone. Something as small as your phone, that 5 inch or 6 inch gadget can destroy something as large as your marriage.
Small issues could be how you are siding with your friends and your parents and sidelining your partner.
Small issues could be something as trivial as your reckless tongue.
These small issues you know them when they arise, but sadly, many couples ignore them and belittle them. Then resentment gets planted in the relationship/marriage, your partner complains about the small issues but you ignore them, you two drift apart and start forming negative opinions about each other. You hurt your partner multiple times. You tell your partner to improve on some areas but he/she is tired and doesn’t put up effort. The bond gets weak.
All these now become explosive and it takes one big fight to bring out the ugliest side of the both of you. This can trigger violence or infidelity. All it takes is one big fight and it is so easy to say “I quit. I want a divorce”
This is why the Bible in the romantic book of Song of Solomon 2:15, it says “Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.”
If you don’t catch those little foxes, some months or years ahead, those foxes will grow into the giant that destroys your love.
