It is embarrassing when the married blame their spouse as the cause for cheating on them. They make it sound like marriage is a paradise. Marriage is never a bed of roses. That is why it is for mature people; not kids who cannot take responsibility but want someone to be responsible for them. The success of a marriage depends on both the man and the woman. If they want to enjoy their union, it’s their collective effort, work and commitment to the relationship.
Lots of people want to have a great and successful marriage yet have no desire in working for it. They want to be served, entertained. That’s why it’s easy for them to pay people outside their matrimonial home to serve and entertain them. Side chick or side cock are paid to meet needs like sex, food, talk, etc.
If you go into marriage with the mindset that someone is responsible for your happiness then think twice.
In the same breath that we see marriage as a covenant, the law or the state sees it as a contract between two responsible and mature adults. If you feel the contract or the relationship is not working or you are no longer interested, take the bold step to end it. Become a free person before you start getting involved with others.
It’s better to leave a marriage which is not working or won’t work as an honest person than to try to keep it together by cheating on your spouse. If your marriage has become difficult, what you need is to work hard. Try something difficult to make your marriage easy for you. Try commitment, try faithfulness, try forgiveness, try talking about the difficult issues. Cheating is easy, it has no merit in saving the marriage.
You don’t cheat on your spouse because your needs are not met, you don’t cheat on your spouse because you are not happy. You don’t cheat on your spouse because they hurt you and to you cheating is your best way of revenge; only children do that.
It is rather unfortunate that some singles are so desperate and are easily carried away by emotional blackmails from married men or women. If he or she is complaining of not being happy in their marriage and want you, why don’t you insist they do the right thing by divorcing?
Remember separation is not divorce.
Even if he or she is in the process of getting divorced, why don’t you wait for the process to end before you jump into a relationship with them? And if they claim they are divorced, why don’t you request to see the divorce certificate before getting into a relationship with them? A real husband ends a marriage before he starts searching for a wife.
If a man cheats on his wife with you, what makes you think he won’t cheat on you even if you become his wife? It’s a lie to think you have all it takes to keep him; a leopard never changes its spots. He is not just a cheater but a repeat cheat. Cheating is how he solves his marital issues.
If you truly love and care about these people, you will insist they do the right thing. Cheating in a marriage and justifying it because one is not happy makes you childish.
If you are employed at a firm and your salary is meager and as a result you are not meeting your needs, you don’t steal from the company to supplement your needs. Any of such attempts makes you a criminal. Resignation is the solution if dialogue fails.
Always remember, cheaters always live in fear, fear that they might be caught so they are always hiding, trying so hard to cover the truth; they are not real to the people who matter to them, instead they are always lying.
And when they are caught, they live with guilt and shame. Many cheaters’ famous chorus is ‘forgive me, I don’t know what came over me’.
In conclusion, “But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself”- Proverbs 6:32 (NLT).
