Sometimes ladies wonder why he is not proposing marriage or making any plans towards that, even though they have a great relationship with him and they have been together for years. She starts questioning herself, whether she is not good enough to become his wife or if he is seeing someone else.

He might not be looking elsewhere. Again, he knows how good you are and knows your worth. The problem is he is just not ready for marriage, yet wants to hang around a good woman so he can end up with you.

Lots of guys are able to spot a wife, know she is a good woman or a marriage material but it takes lots of time for them to figure out if he is her husband or she is his wife. It’s easy for such a guy to ask you for a relationship and have no plans in place for marriage.

They will treat you with love and respect, enjoy your company and want to be around you, but each time you ask what their plans for marriage are, they get lost in thoughts, give you excuses or suddenly change towards you.

It’s not that you are not good material for marriage, it’s not that you won’t make a great marriage, it’s just that where they are in life at the moment, marriage is not in their plans and it’s not a priority now. Although you fit in as a wife in the future, they can’t tell what the future holds because of their readiness or where they are in life now.

He is either schooling or pursuing his career or vocation. Its either they have plans of establishing themselves in business or firm or building a house or a project. They will love to hang around but you are not their priority.

And because they seem comfortable around the lady they are in a relationship with, the lady sometimes assumes he is making plans to settle down with them in the near future. This is why some relationships travel over many years before the lady in the relationship starts to put pressure on the guy to get married to them.

When the pressure intensifies, the guy either tells her to wait till he is done with his school, his masters or PhD, a project such as building, business, career or investment etc.

With some guys, they are not able to stand the pressure or don’t want to keep her waiting so they go ahead to tell the lady, “in case you get any good man, you are free to go ahead and accept their marriage proposals”.

They forget the lady is not just looking for a marriage proposal but she wants to keep the relationship they share. She is concerned about her security; she is thinking of the future of the relationship. She doesn’t want to lose what she shares with you and believes one way of securing it is through marriage.

My dear ladies if you find yourselves in such a relationship, keep in mind, the problem is not you, the problem is him. He is just not ready, it doesn’t mean you are not good enough to be his wife, he is not ready to man up as a husband.

It’s always better to date a man who is ready for marriage when you are also ready for marriage. The fact that you are good and available doesn’t mean you are available to anyone or everyone. You are available for someone who is ready, good and capable. Someone special.

In conclusion, “Sensible people will see trouble coming and avoid it, but an unthinking person will walk right into it and regret it later” – Proverbs 22:3 (GNT). Written by Counselor Adofoli

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