Quite often when couples are fighting, you hear one partner complaining bitterly that he or she is always to blame for the problems they encounter in the relationship. They have the feeling that they are always the one who is wrong and their partner is the one who is always right.
This feeling is not pleasant but some partners resort to the saying that “in marriage one has to be a fool to make the marriage work”. Issues in marriage or relationships are not resolved in court and for that matter people need to take emotions into consideration instead of being obsessed with facts.
When we are so obsessed with facts, we sometimes fail to understand our partner when they are communicating. We don’t pay attention to the emotions they are expressing.
Marriage is not always about who is right and who is wrong. When one is so determined to prove that a partner is wrong, they fail to listen to understand their partner.
One of the important aspects of a relationship is the need to be understood, to be valued, to be appreciated. So, it hurts so much when your partner does not understand you. You feel they don’t appreciate you; they don’t care about you. As if you mean nothing to them.
Next time your partner accuses you of something, pay attention to their emotions as well. For instance, they claim you don’t remember their birthday; instead of focusing so much on the number of birthdays you remembered which is a fact, let them know you are sorry they feel like that about you.
Empathize with them, recognize how they feel. He or she might be feeling sad, lonely or disappointed; a feeling you don’t wish for them. Going forward, identify their needs and meet them. With the example I gave, they want to be celebrated, remembered, affiliated and doing that will not only make them happy but improve their self-esteem.
In conclusion, “So let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don’t drag them down by finding fault.” – Romans 14:19 (MSG).
Please don’t forget to spread the good news. Someone out there needs it. This is your small way of blessing them.
