I want to bang my head against the wall for every friend who’s relationship has ended in tragedy after marrying someone they either didn’t ask about (because they knew the answer would have been No) or got a straight up “This is a bad idea, but it’s your choice.”
Typically, there’s a formula for getting an answer about an important life decision like marriage.
1) Make a decision. God will tell you many things, but he won’t make your choices for you. If you haven’t made a decision on something, you’re unlikely to get a straight answer.
2) Ask the right question. If one question’s not getting you any answers, then maybe it’s time to rephrase and evaluate what you really need to know. If “should I marry so-and-so?” doesn’t work maybe try “What do I need to do to marry so-and-so?”. The last ditch is always “What do I need to do to find an answer?” God’s great at giving commandments. Asking what you need to do to get something is just about always going to get you a solution.
3) Be willing to accept any answer. Did you already get the answer, and you didn’t listen? Sometimes you aren’t going to get the answer you like. Sometimes it’s going to be “No”. Sometimes it’s going to be “do this seemingly impossible thing.” Sometimes the answer may have caveats that you’re unwilling to perform. It might not seem relevant, but did you ask the big guy for an answer, or did you just ask Him to make yourself feel better doing exactly what you were going to do anyway?
4) If you don’t make your own decisions and aren’t humble enough to follow His guidance, you’re going to have a hard time getting a straight answer. His timetables aren’t yours either, so don’t be asking Him the night before your wedding and expect everything to work out.
5) Also don’t expect solutions immediately if you’ve been ignoring Him your whole life. He isn’t going to entrust you with guidance and wisdom if you’ve ignored such gifts in the past. He’s not one to force anything on anyone. If you are only getting seemingly random answers like suggestions on how to live your life or improve yourself that’s an opportunity to become worthy for greater guidance and wisdom.
