Many people find themselves in a relationship where the behaviour of their partner is causing them to drift apart. Friends and relatives have advised them to let go of the relationship but they find it difficult to let go. The love they have for the person is making it difficult for them to break up.
Even when they break up, they find a way to come back. The thing about love is that it gives hope. When you are in love with people who have unhealthy behaviours, deep within you, you hope things can change and that is what people who advise you to let go don’t feel towards the person.
Although it is very true you cannot change people no matter how close the relationship is; sometimes the only option is to change the kind of people around you. But that is not always the best way to go about some relationships.
Especially when the person is working hard to change their behaviour but the attitude from their partner makes it difficult for them to change. Certain statements and comments are enough to push people back to the very behaviour they are working on to change.
One of such statements is “a cheat is always a cheat”. Which implies that no matter how hard a partner who cheated tries to change, such a person is told he or she can never change. That’s like pulling down someone who wants to climb, a discouragement for someone who wants to change.
Another attitude that makes it difficult for people to change is the constant repetition of their mistakes or the wrong they did in the past. At least the least provocation you refer them to what they did wrong years or months ago. Such an attitude is not helpful. You are putting stumbling blocks on their way or throwing rocks at them while they do their best to climb a mountain.
If you cannot let go of the relationship, find out from your partner the best way to help them. Listen to them when they point out to you your attitudes that hinder their progress. Their reasons are valid, don’t belittle it and call it an excuse.
“Never walk away from someone who deserves help; your hand is God’s hand for that person” – Proverbs 3:27a (MSG).
