There is this question on whether to give someone a second chance during dating or not. I don’t think you have to give people second chances during dating when there are others waiting for their first chance. The reason is simple, the second chance means absolutely nothing if nothing was learnt from the first.

Even with only one life, people still play with it not to talk of letting them know they have a second chance, they will surely not be careful with their actions. It is human nature. So set the rules before you start dating.

Many at times when people are drunk with feelings, they are quick to mistaken “sorry” as synonymous with “It won’t happen again”. Whilst some think forgiveness means second chance which is mostly not the case; allowing the hurt cycle to continue in the name of second chance.

We all make mistakes in life but mistakes are different from a habit, character, attitude. What is part and parcel of one’s life is not a mistake and that determines how they treat you. When you accept that from them, you give them the idea that no matter how much they hurt you, you will still accept them back.

This gives them the license to hurt you over and over again. Once is enough to learn from. Stop exposing yourself to danger. People are in bad marriages today and have no one to blame than themselves for the bad decisions they took during dating. They have woken up to the reality that, no matter the feeling or love they claim to have for their partners, it didn’t change their partners for the better, they rather became worse.

The love which made them smile is what makes them cry today. Marriage is not the business of trial and error, it’s the art of drawing without an eraser. The small decisions you make today have the power to alter the valuable pages of your life. So one needs to be super careful when dating. You need to know that its not a period of fun, but a serious classroom.

Your decisions about your spouse should be solid and grounded. It should be without doubt, it should be what you want and will be happy with, for in the next ten years it will be a question of if you choose your life or you just settled for it? If I were you, I will make sure it was the best and be able to say I chose my marriage, my spouse, I am happy about it and have no regrets. Which means you didn’t just settle with anything thrown at you or whatever came your way.

You should never date to impress anyone, let people love you for who you are with no reason, because you have become the reason. Never let anyone love you for the sake of your appearance, that is not called love but attraction. Let no one love you because of your intelligence, it is not love but rather admiration.

At no point do you allow anyone to fall for you because of your money that is not love either but a profit making venture. To be honest with you, it feels so good when you are loved for who you are; when looks, work, riches, fame, Don’t matter to those who love you, but they accept you for who you are without conditions, expectations or a criteria.

In conclusion “Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers” – Psalm 1:1 (NIV).

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