1) You get excited that life is going to change after the wedding day, only to realize that after the wedding, the days are just normal. It is not an anti-climax, but that those normal days can be turned into anything you two choose
2) You think that in marriage you will have unlimited sex, only to find out the frequency and quality of the sex is determined by the mood of your spouse, work, chores and children. Don’t be frustrated, work around it
3) You think that in marriage you and your spouse will get along well, only to find that seasons will come when there will be arguments and disagreements that threaten to push you apart. Sometimes agree to disagree, peacefully
4) You think that in marriage you will constantly feel warmth and romantic, only to realize sometimes your marriage will be held together, not by feelings but by the firm decision to stay together even if you don’t feel warmth like before and soon warmth returns
5) You think you know the person you are getting married to, only to unearth things about him/her when you have already said “I do”. Marriage is a great revealer, your most private layers will be found out. The greatest show of love is when you find out the unpleasant things in your spouse and still love
6) You think you two will be financially well based on your planning, only for life to through you curve balls such us job loss, a pandemic, a medical emergency, a child with expensive special needs, bad decisions and market changes and for many couples, these financial shocks are the ones that shake the future of the marriage. You two need each other
7) You think you are married to a Godly person, only to find out that even your Godly spouse is daily struggling with the flesh that can manifest through bad habits, hot temper, an unloving tone or trait that contradict faith. That is when you ask for grace to love each other to be more like God. More like God means there are parts in both of you that are still flesh and need work
8) You think you two are on the same page, only to find out years later one of you is going astray or losing the fire for the union. You cannot force your spouse to stay true to the hope you had at the beginning, but you can remind him/her and win your spouse back with love not complaints
9) You think in marriage it will just be you two, only to find out that there are special people in your lives who can mess up what you two have – be it parents, relatives and friends. If you don’t teach these people how to respect your marriage, get ready to have issues
10) You think getting married will guarantee you a supportive partner in life, only to realize that sometimes your spouse may be too focused in his/her growth to support you fully.
It is good to receive support from your spouse but sometimes your spouse will have limits, sometimes your spouse will not see the vision you are seeing. It is not that your spouse is a hater but that you have your own unique purpose
If marriage has not lived up to your expectations, don’t panic. Know that marriage is a living union, meaning it is dynamic – with different seasons, factors, moods, lessons and opportunities.
Have expectations but learn to adjust and walk it day by day; above all- being grateful for the union you have at present.
