Any relationship that have sex before marriage will hardly not have problem in marriage because trust has been broken. Some people call it ‘testing the goods before paying’. I don’t know when marriage becomes goods you buy.
Fornication (sexual intercourse, touching/romancing, eProstitution, sharing and sending of indecent pictures, masturbation, using intimacy gadget, etc) is a sin, Christianity is against it so is other religions.
Sex is only permitted in marriage. Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”.
They become one flesh in the marriage not before the marriage.
The above bible passage explains that you must first come together under the marriage union before you are permitted to consummate (have sex).
I have counselled relationships especially courtship that failed to metamorphosed into a holy wedlock because they had sex before marriage.
Somebody I knew way back were living couples right on campus, you would think they should marry each other but after sampling and testing each other for several years, but today, they have gone their separate ways.
And the ones I know that eventually married themselves, I can hardly count how many times they don’t have problems with each other in their marriage.
You see, marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled. But pre-marital sex or sex before marriage dishonour and defiled the marriage bed. Sex before marriage is wrong, but the truth is that several people do not even know that this is wrong at all.
Most singles erroneously believe that once they start courtship or once they are getting married they are free to have sex together. Worse still, some even believe that the lady must be pregnant for them before they can get married to her in order to test fertility. And some parents also endorse it.
It is nothing but an expression of moral bankruptcy and gross ignorance, which pervades our society today.
You see, aside the fact that it is morally wrong, it is also not Biblical correct. And without any doubt, it is one of the major reasons why many relationships no longer result into marriage. Because after he has seen all of you, there nothing you table in the marriage that will surprise him again.
Sex before marriage is nothing but building on a wrong foundation and walking in arrant disobedience to the Word of God.
I want you to know that as singles you can avoid sex before marriage, regardless of the moral decadence of this generation. We were taught many years back that it was a very big shame or a reproach on the entire family, when a lady is not found as a virgin after wedding. But today, nobody cares about virginity.
Eight (8) LIES ABOUT PREMARITAL SEX
1) Everybody’s doing it.
The truth is, there are many single women (and men) who still embrace sexual purity today in their relationships. Some are too shy to admit it (unfortunately), but they are there. The fact that everybody is doing it must not make you do it.
2) Engaging in sex before marriage with a dating partner brings you closer.
This is another lie from the pit of hell. Dr. Patricia Love, the author of The Truth About Love, writes that a feeling of intimacy is created by a “chemical cocktail” that is produced in the brain during sex and stays with each person for up to 24 hours after intercourse. That intimacy they think they have will vanish 24 hours after sex.
On the flip side, having sex is no guarantee that the deep emotional intimacy that everyone longs for will develop. That intimacy is a facade and fades away with time.
Also, Alice Fryling, in an article titled, “Why Wait for Sex?” writes:
“Genital sex is an expression of intimacy, not the means to intimacy. True intimacy springs from verbal and emotional communion. True intimacy is built on a commitment to honesty, love and freedom. True intimacy is not primarily a sexual encounter. Intimacy, in fact, has almost nothing to do with our sex organs. A prostitute may expose her body, but her relationships are hardly intimate.”
Some experts even report that premarital sex short circuits the emotional bonding process. Donald Joy, a writer for Christianity Today, cited a study of 100,000 women that linked “early sexual experience with dissatisfaction in their present marriages, unhappiness with the level of sexual intimacy and the prevalence of low self-esteem.”
Their many escapades from other partners before marriage have made sex their spouses unenjoyable.
Partners can also feel threatened if they think their mate could be comparing them with previous partners. Some partners inorder to satisfy their longings for sex, they will still look for someone that can do it better than their spouse outside their marriage.
This provides a strong argument to abstain from sex before marriage to protect the emotional safety that your spouse will need to feel in marriage.
3) Scriptures on sexual purity are outdated and archaic.
Some people will bamboozle you by telling you, scriptures on sexual purity are outdated and archaic.
Lie, because both the old and new testament advocate for sexual purity.
1 Corinthians 6:9, 2 Corinthians 12:21, Galatians 5:19, Hebrews 13:4 and Deuteronomy 22:13-28, all which condemn sex before marriage.
4) I’ll remain single if I don’t give in.
The truth is giving your body prematurely is no guarantee that you’ll get married sooner than a woman who is a virgin.
It just doesn’t work that way. Virgins get married and sexually-experienced women get married alike. If any man is pressuring you for sex in your relationship, he’s either not a Christian or a carnal one. You don’t want to be with either of them!
By the grace of God I married my wife as a virgin and she once told me how she left a guy before we got married simply because he was pressuring her for sex.
Anyone pressuring you that you’ll remain single if I don’t give in to sex is lying to you.
Perhaps, if you remain single all your remaining days, you’ll actually be in a better position if you have had no sexual experiences. You see as singles, once your sexual appetite has been opened, it’s very difficult to keep it closed (but not impossible). The grace and power of Jesus enables all of us to be holy despite our bad experiences.
5) There are no more virgins in the world.
This is another lie that people have been using to bamboozle young girls that there are no longer virgins in the world. I want to tell you that there are, and as a matter of fact, I married my wife as a virgin.
6) If you love me, you will have sex with me.
Now, come to think of it, when is sex a parameter for determining love? Sex is not love and love is not sex. The average prostitute will sleep with a man and that does not guarantee they love him. If another victim comes, they will still have sex with him.
Whoever is treathening you with this statement doesn’t love you. He just want to make you one of his/her conquest. It’s better you let him go and move on with your life.
7) It is not easy to resist temptation.
Well, I quite agree with you because I have been in your shoe before. However, I didn’t allow myself to be tempted by putting myself in an uncompromising position.
I remember sometimes ago before I got married, a lady walk into my room and told me to do whatever I like with her. I told her thank you and politely work her out.
You see, you will only fall into temptation when you put yourself in a compromising position.
8) To check if he/she is good in bed.
Well, that is another lie being peddled by the devil. If you believe God gave you a partner, why should you doubt God for the fertility of that individual.
To check if he/she is good in bed is to say God has not made him/her complete for you in marriage.
Here are some reasons why God wisely designed
SexAFTERMarriage:
- To produce godly seeds.
- To raise incorruptible seeds
- To build godly homes
-To reflect the intimacy between Christ and the Church;
- For a husband and wife to experience true oneness and sexual fulfillment with each other;
- To prevent soul ties with men that you should not be with (an unbeliever or a man you should not marry);
-To protect single women (and single men) from guilt; sexually transmitted diseases; untimely pregnancies; feelings of unworthiness; weighty burdens of single parenting; low self-esteem; and the like.
- To provide you with the best sexual experience possible in marriage.
Summarily, sex is good. Sex within the confines of marriage is absolutely beautiful, exciting and pleasurable. Outside of marriage, it is still pleasurable only for the moment but the end of it is full of torments.
Let me ask you, if you never have sex, would that be the absolute worst thing that could happen to you in this very short life?
Singles, learn delayed gratification. Let’s value God instructions beyond pleasing pleasure of our flesh. He’s better at satisfying us than anyone else on this earth and certainly better than someone that will have with you sex before marriage!
That is why God admonishes us to, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18
The enemy of our souls tries to pollute sex in every possible way through pornography, masturbation; cyber sex; sexting; orgies; fornication; adultery and so on. But you must resist the devil by living a pure life and by saying NO to sex before marriage.
Perhaps you’re asking, “What if, I’m guilty of sexual sin, what can I do?”
The first thing to remember is that no sexual sin is beyond God’s forgiveness. Thankfully, He doesn’t withhold forgiveness or grace from those who ask for it.
First John 1:9 promises that if you confess your sins, that He is faithful to forgive and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness.
Note: This includes all sin, and does not exclude sexual sin. Psalm 103: 12 also promises, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions [sins] from us.”
In addition to forgiveness, God wants you to embrace His grace that will help you to say no to sin (Rom. 6: 1 – 2).
Being able to say no to sexual sin will help you to a pure life in this sexualized world.
