There are lots of misconceptions and misinformation about the thing called Marriage. Those who have not had higher education believe that higher education is a cause of divorce in marriages these days whilst those with higher educational levels believe the best person to have a successful marriage with is someone with the same or higher level of education.
We heard of stories of highly educated men writing off those with little or no formal education when it came to marriage, with the reason that they cannot have intellectual conversation with them. Some go ahead to give examples such as, “how can they hold discussions on the English Premier League, how can they talk about movie reviews etc?” As if it takes academic qualification to watch and understand football, as if it takes a degree to watch and comment on movies.
While some highly educated women look down on men with little or no formal education, others go to the extent of insulting or ridiculing them and making comments like “he is not my class”. Some question “how can a university graduate end up with a High school or Junior High school leaver?” As if blood does not run through the veins of the High school leaver.
Some think that marriage is all about compatibility. All these thoughts are problematic and if that is how people see marriage then I am not surprised at the high level of divorce. As a matter of fact, there is nothing like compatibility when it comes to marriage. No two individuals can go into marriage without conflict.
Marriage is not about going out to look for someone who looks like you, has what you have, who has the same qualifications as you. No two individuals are the same. The success of marriage depends on team work. The team called marriage requires two sets of people with different sets of qualities, two different people, serving each other, meeting each other’s needs, working for a common goal.
It is not about getting someone who has the same certificate or earning so you can both contribute 50% to the relationship. Marriage requires a different set of people who give their all (100%), their devotion, dedication, commitment, willing to sacrifice to make the relationship work.
You don’t need a university degree to understand your partner, to be their friend, to learn from them, to talk to them or to work with them. The question we should be asking is, do they have what it takes to make the marriage work? Can they communicate with us, can they resolve conflict, can they forgive, can they be best of friends? Are they hard working and earning enough to support themselves and their family?
All of us cannot have a white colour job, today universities are teaching entrepreneurship. Let’s use what God has blessed us in life to be a blessing to others. There is nothing wrong with a highly educated husband teaching or impacting his wife who has not had the opportunity. There is nothing wrong for a man with little or no formal education sponsoring his wife to acquire the best education.
There are parents who didn’t have the privilege to go to school who have educated their wards to the highest level and these wards became a blessing to them. Let’s stop poisoning people with misinformation about marriage. A barber can marry a nurse, there is nothing wrong. A doctor can marry a plumber, there is nothing wrong, as long as they understand their relationship and are willing to work as a team.
In conclusion “Don’t let anyone think little of you because you are young. Be their ideal; let them follow the way you teach and live; be a pattern for them in your love, your faith, and your clean thoughts” – 1 Timothy 4:12 (TLB).
