Whether you’re single or married, we all need godly relationships in life. Someone said relationships are advantageous connections, and that’s nothing but the truth.
If God wants to make you great, He’d connect you to great people, and if the devil wants to destroy you, he’d bring the wrong people into your life whose lives have been destroyed – some you’d recognize, some you won’t.
A relationship can be godly or ungodly, moral or immoral, sensual or spiritual. It is what you and your partner do in your relationship that determines whether it is good or bad, toxic or not.
More so, the kind of person you’re in a relationship with determines the outcome of your life and relationship. You can’t have a godly relationship when you’re with a man or woman who is carnal. This is why scripture warns against being yoked with an unbeliever.
I need to sound a note of warning to Christian brothers and sisters. There are unbelievers in the church. The fact that a man or woman frequents church services or programs doesn’t mean they’re Christians. It is a costly assumption to think that everyone who calls themselves a Christian is truly one. Remember, by their fruits you shall know them.
If a godly sister is in a relationship with a churchgoer, or a carnal Christian (let me use that word) and she doesn’t quit but stays put in it, over time, she’d be more carnal than godly.
Do you know why?
He that walks with a wise man shall be wise, and the companion of fools shall be destroyed. However, when you walk with an ungodly partner or friend, you will become one of them.
If you desire a godly relationship and you don’t know how to get one, or you’re in a godly relationship and you don’t know what to do in it, the following things would guide you.
First, to find a godly partner, whether for marriage or friendship,
1) Pray to God for one
Yes, it’s that serious.
Not everyone you see or meet in or outside the church is godly. Only God can make your path cross with the right person. If you think you’ve found a godly friend because of how nice, caring, generous, or spiritual they are, you’re wrong.
Let God lead you.
That a person is a fellowship papa, youth pastor or president, choir leader or member, doesn’t mean they’re godly. It is not the church building that makes people godly; it’s their personal decision and their encounter with Jesus Christ. Pray, don’t depend on what you know.
2) Be a godly person
You can’t ask God for the Holy Spirit when you’re a sinner, and God can’t give you one of His children when you’d be the one to destroy them. If you want a godly spouse or friend, be one.
Now, let’s consider some fascinating things to do in a godly relationship.
1) Honor God
One of the reasons why I detest boyfriend and girlfriend relationships is because those involved in them do things that dishonor God. A godly relationship will honor God and wouldn’t gratify the flesh.
Meanwhile, an ungodly relationship would promote immoral things such as premarital sex or sexually stimulating activities. You can’t honor God if you indulge in this.
However, if you’re truly a godly person, isn’t it fascinating to honor God in your relationship with your words, thoughts, and actions? Be mindful of any relationship that wants you to dishonor God with your body and make it an instrument of unrighteousness to sin.
Make God your priority; any deviation from this will result in a sin against Him, even if you’re “enjoying” the relationship.
Remember, any relationship where you dishonor God is a relationship that will destroy you.
2) Respect boundaries
Walls in the form of fences are usually built to avoid intrusion and encroachment into buildings and properties.
An ideal godly relationship ought to have boundaries that must be mutually respected. When there are boundaries, there are limits to what is permissible or not. In this case, there’s a restriction on touches, compliments, and the kinds of words to be used.
However, when there are no boundaries, this is when a lady would share a bed with a man she’s not married to or a man would stay in the dark corners of the street with a lady.
A relationship where there is no boundary usually leads to an undefined relationship because you’d do what you never wanted to do, and you’d get to a place you never wanted to be.
Remember, he (or she) breaks the hedge, the serpent shall bite, and if your relationship is godly, you’d respect boundaries – even if you don’t have one – because you fear God.
3) Develop one another
In an ideal relationship, mutual development is sin qua non. If your relationship isn’t making you better than how you were, then you’re not in a good and godly relationship.
A godless relationship would destroy and expose you to evil. However, if you’re not doing things that would develop you, you’d probably do things that would destroy you.
Things like praying, reading, developing each other’s talents and skill sets, or enhancing each other’s values, would make your relationship a godly one, for as long as sin and immorality aren’t the norms. Sadly, many have believed that a relationship can’t grow or they can’t feel connected with their partner if there’s no sexual intimacy.
That’s a lie from the pit of hell.
“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend” (Proverbs 27:17). If your friend isn’t sharpening your mind, character, vision, or any aspect of your life, your relationship would tend towards the direction of ungodly practices.
Can you say your relationship is godly or immoral? You won’t be able to enjoy the blessings of a godly relationship if those things I listed above aren’t part of your relationship’s norms.
