Jealousy is the feeling of suspicion that your partner is cheating or leaving you and moving to another person or is admiring another person more than you.
Jealousy makes one feel they are not good enough.
When we commit to someone, we want it to be exclusive.
Jealousy is brought by two reasons
1) Being paranoid, over possessiveness, emptiness and having a low self-esteem
2) Having a partner who makes you feel your place in their life is uncertain
For some people, it is because of one of those two reasons or both of them.
Jealousy comes from a place of fear, you fear losing the one that you are with. The fear can be real or perceived.
Some people even when they have a good, open, loving and transparent partner they are still jealous because of their low self-esteem and identity issues. When their partner buys them flowers they are suspicious. When their partner introduces a new love making position they wonder who taught them. They get fussy when their partner takes a few seconds to pick up the phonecall or delays in replying a text message.
When one is jealous
1) They snoop their partner’s phone
2) They choke their partner’s social life
3) They attack the friends of their partner of the opposite gender
4) They become easily irritable
5) They troll their partner’s social media activity
6) They keep asking “Do you love me?”
7) They become violent especially for men
8) They give ultimatums to get the security they feel they lack
People deal differently with jealousy. Some attack, others snoop, some withdraw, others cause harm. Learn to express your discomfort in relationship/marriage in a peaceful and mature way. Don’t keep it to yourself and silently resent your partner.
Jealousy is dangerous. It has made some harm or kill their partner or the person they think their partner is cheating with or admiring.
Some people have committed or attempted suicide due to jealousy.
Some people get jealous even when the two are not a couple. This is because they are made to feel special but not given exclusive commitment.
HOW TO CONQUER JEALOUSY
1) Have a healthy self-esteem
2) See your greatness. Jealousy makes you ask yourself “What does the other person have that I don’t?”
3) Commit to someone who mutually loves you and is ready to stop acting single
4) If you are dating/married and you feel your partner is getting cosy with another, peacefully and maturely tell your partner you are uncomfortable
5) Don’t fight the person you think is a threat, work things out with your partner
6) Make your partner secure by giving certainty
7) Stop acting like you are single yet you are taken
8) Inform your partner of your schedule and whereabouts before he/she asks
9) Have boundaries. Especially with the ex
Men in particular need to learn to be vulnerable. Lack of vulnerability makes many find it difficult to express to the woman what they are uncomfortable with. A man who is honest and expressive about his emotions will see the value in taking care of his woman’s emotions.