I have a huge issue with lots of African men who keep saying “the woman I spent money to marry….”. The question is, did you marry her because you can afford to pay for a bride price, or did you marry her because you loved her? There is a difference between the two. What you love, you value, but what you buy you use.
Are you valuing her or using her?
I asked that because those men who start their conversation with such statements think because they paid for the bride price of a woman, she is obliged to do what they want or what pleases them and not them doing what the woman wants or what pleases her.
I can say it on authority that most married women feel their husbands don’t love them. They feel like that because their husbands do not listen to them, their husbands do not do what they want. It has always been the will of the man.
Many of these wives have turned into naggers, and those who are tired of nagging are full of resentment and are distant from their husbands. Yet the men, on the other hand, claim they love their wives, and they prove that by how they provide for the house, pay for bills, expenses, etc.
If you are a husband or a man in a relationship who find yourself in a similar situation, you need to know this: When you love someone, you do what makes them happy and not what you want or what makes you happy.
If she wants you to spend time with her at home or take her out, you do that for her. You don’t bring her gifts because you think getting her gift is more important than taking her out. Do what makes her happy, do what puts smiles on her face.
That is how you demonstrate you love her.
Marriage runs on love. It is about doing what makes your spouse happy. it is serving them the way they want to be served.
It’s about going their way and not your way. If husbands and wives listen to each other and do what pleases them or makes them happy, marriage will be more enjoyable, more peaceful, and more loving.
Today, think about your partner. What are the things they requested from you, but you regarded as not important? What are the things they have been complaining about that you don’t do for them?
Start honouring those requests, start listening to them, and start doing what they want and see if they won’t be happier. They will do more for you because you do more for them.
They will make you a priority because you make them a priority, and they will always put your happiness first because you put their happiness first.
They will meet your needs because you meet their needs. Love is not always a connection one can not explain. It is about doing the very things that make their partner happy. Your actions have the power to create the connection.
In conclusion, “If you love others, you will never do them wrong; to love, then, is to obey the whole Law” – Romans 13:10 (GNT).
