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MANAGING EXPECTATIONS IN RELATIONSHIPS

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We are familiar with loads of fantasies and dreams we tie to our partners or loved ones. We’ve all been in a situation like this at least once, both asking for more and receiving more.

When we love or care for a person, we naturally expect something good in return. That is inevitable. After all, if not for love and respect, then what is a relationship?

A person should only be asked to do what they can reasonably achieve.

In this post, we will examine the long-term effects of our expectations and discuss how to manage our expectations in relationships.

What Are Relationship Expectations?
Expectations are when you believe someone owes you something in terms of actions or words. As human beings, each one of us has expectations. It’s normal. We are designed in such a way that we connect with others in many facets of our lives. Therefore, their behaviour or words can profoundly affect our lives.

We all naturally expect to bask in the constant and undivided love of the people around us and expect them always to make us happy. We hope they understand us as we know ourselves, listen to every word, and pay attention to minute details.

However, we do not get our needs met many times. Meeting needs in a relationship is a two-way traffic. A little compassion and consideration in a relationship go a long way and are desired by both sides.

How To Manage Expectations In A Relationship?
We already know that unhealthy relationship expectations can cause resentment, but what can we do to clean our relationships of this dilemma?

How can we stop the constant arguing or conflicts in the relationship?

1) Love yourself: Recognise your needs for affirmations. Start by affirming yourself. Validate yourself. Though self-love can not replace validation from your loved ones, it does bring satisfaction and has a positive effect on your love life. Loving yourself will also mean communicating in a compassionate and considerate manner your needs and yearnings to your loved ones. It will also mean hearing their yearnings and needs.

2) Believe: When you are in a relatively good relationship, one needs to understand every person expresses their love differently. You may need to believe in your loved ones and their intentions. Many a times it’s ok to have a conversation about your expectations and their expectations from you. Communication is an essential key to managing expectations. Believe in your ability to communicate with your loved ones.

3) Acceptance: Accept your loved ones as they are, with their flaws and inadequacies. Moreover, accept that you may not always get what you want, but there is still some good in everything around you. Managing your expectations always helps. Perhaps a good idea will be to look at the strengths in your relationship and then compare it with what is lacking. If the strengths are more, it may be worth fighting for your relationship with some acceptance.

4) Spend time together: Spend time with that person to give your relationship a clear definition. When you live good moments together frequently, you focus on the positive more than the lack in the relationship. Conversely, if you stay apart for long periods, it will most likely cause a dispute in your relationship.

5) Consider good things: Learn to prioritize appreciation rather than complaints and expectations. Your life goal should be to collect a bundle of positivity rather than a bunch of complaints at the end.

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