Dear Godly Spinsters and Bachelors, marriage is a beautiful thing. It’s really sweet and wonderful. I implore you not to go into marriage with a negative mindset. when you don’t have an “and they Lived happily ever after” mentality, you will go into marriage with a warfare mindset and a competitive mindset. This negative orientation is one of the major issues that breaks a home prematurely.
Please, have a blissful mindset and be prepared to make your home a safe haven for your spouse. Debunk the court room mindset. As a born again Child of God, I know you are waiting on God for that special one, here are some people you should not even think of marrying if you want your marriage to be a safe haven. In everything you do make sure you consider the following in your marital Decisions. The following are universal considerations as inspired by the Holy spirit. These should guide you on this Journey.
Marry someone who is God’s will for your life: Double check with God, even triple check. Don’t assume that because you told God this is the sign you want to see and the brother/sister matches all you told God then you think he/she is the right person. Sometimes the devil hijacks your heart desires and gives you his own design. Tarry in God’s presence to Know if the design staring at you or the one one you are staring at is from God Get a WORD from God first before going ahead.
Don’t rely on all the signs alone. If you also don’t know or you are not familiar with what the peace of God that surpasses all understanding means, don’t gamble. Get a WORD from God! Don’t assume, FOREVER is a long time to live with the product of your assumptions. Also, when waiting on God for that special one, don’t have someone in mind that you already love. Having an idol in your heart while seeking God’s face will not allow you to hear from God properly, you would only be hearing what your flesh wants.
Marry someone who is spirit filled and spirit Led: Someone who the dealings of God are evident in his/her life. Someone that knows his/her walk with God is a Journey. Someone who is ever growing in the Lord. Someone who shares with you areas where the Lord is dealing with him/her. A person who may want to do something wrong and you ask him, her why did you change your mind and his/her response will be THE HOLY SPIRIT SPOKE TO ME as I was on my way.
Marry Someone who has the FEAR of God: Someone who TREMBLES at the word of God. Someone who desires to know God more. Someone who does not think he/she has arrived. Brethren, We don’t arrive in our walk with God. We arrive when we get to heaven.
Marry someone who truly LOVES YOU for who you are: How will you fair in such a marriage, when you don’t have feelings for each other. What do we call this? I am sure a loveless union is not what anyone will desire. Don’t marry for what you he/ she will give you. A loveless marriage or a home built on “time is going” is not founded on a solid rock, it may crash and it may be fatal. Please, DON’T marry out of pity or because time is no more on your side.
Marry that special person if you are in Love with him/her Marriage is supposed to be filled with Love. I mean lots of love. N/B if you are Led by the Holy spirit and you are sure about the leading. I mean you are fully convinced that this is God leading you not the Flesh, if along the line you discover that you don’t have feelings for this person don’t be perturbed about it. Don’t be discouraged, obey God FIRST before you complain to Him. After obeying Him, you can now bring up the issue of your feelings to God.
He is the all-knowing, the all-powerful God. He knows how to sort the issue of your feelings. He Himself is Love, not to worry “GOD IS LOVE” That’s a small thing to Him. When God leads, He makes all what you will need available. When you obey Him, He guides you to a safe haven all through. There is no Regret with God, He is ever Faithful.
Marry someone who his/her parents supports your relationship: The blessings, the Support and the CONSENT of your parents matters a lot in the journey of your marriage not only on your wedding day, It goes a long way. It puts a SEAL on your marriage. Until both parents meet and consent to your union, showering blessings on you, you are not yet married properly no matter who you employ join to you in matrimony when they consent and are present, it means you have their blessings and that can’t be bought with money. It’s very important. So, if you are having issues like this, pray very well that they may consent to it and bless you both.
Marry someone whom you are going in the SAME DIRECTION in life, purpose and ministry: Someone who supports your vision in life. Someone who believes in you will not want to put you down. Yeah, someone who is already aware of your purpose in life and is also ready to help you fulfill destiny. Parallel lines they say can never meet. As a lady, if your vision does not align with your husband to be vision, how will you be a “HELP MEET” for him? Brother ,how can you support your wife’s vision if you guys are not on the same path? When you guys are going in different directions, how will you build a PURPOSEFUL HOME? Think on these.
Marry someone who is COMFORTABLE with you and you are comfortable with: Marry someone who is not threatened by your achievements and your success. Brethren, marry someone who has a proper self-esteem. I have heard of insecure husbands who feel threatened because of their wives salary and wives who think because their husbands are well to do she won’t submit to him so that she won’t be treated as a second class citizen.
Feelings of insecurities in marriage is toxic. It’s very tasking to be married to a spouse that has a low self-esteem, you will always be looking over your shoulders ‘because you won’t know what you will do that will offend him//her. You will perpetually be on each others neck aiming for the Jugular at the scent of a little increment in salary, earnings or promotion. There will always be competition instead of you to complement each other. In such a home, there won’t be progress. Just a lot of arguments and regrets.
Marry someone who is PROUD OF YOU and who you are proud of: Don’t marry someone who is ASHAMED of you. Someone who you noticed gives excuses when you need to make an appearance in the Public together. I mean marry someone who celebrates you. Someone who cannot introduce you properly to friends or colleagues thinks you are deficient or you are not presentable.
What do you think will come out of such a union?
Marry someone who is EVER FORGIVING: Marriage is for a life time and it can be tiring to be married to someone who does not forgive easily but recounts your offenses to you. There will be lots of time in marriage that events and some issues may not go down well with both of you. Marry someone who MOVES ON totally from issues and doesn’t store up offenses in his/her archive. Someone who really loves you won’t have space to keep records of offenses. “Love covereth multitudes of sin”.
Marry someone who is RESPONSIBLE: Some people have never own up to anything in their lives. They only put blames on others or tie their inadequacies to events and circumstances. They have never seen the need to say “I am sorry for this, I will make amends.
It can be difficult to have a happy home with such a person. Because you may likely use two-third of your married years to argue because someone has never been responsible for his/her actions. Finally, someone who has no one he/she is accountable to is a ticking bomb. Someone Who does not say, my …… must not hear this if it happens. That’s accountability. Brethren, in all your getting in life. Get wisdom. Get anointed. Get prepared. Marriage is Good. Build it on a solid platform. Don’t joke with your destiny. Hope you are blessed.