The beast of divorce doesn’t need too many invitations. Words can build marriages, and words can tear marriages apart. Two people as husband and wife can leave in the same house, eat from the same pot, sleep on the same bed, drive in the same car, wear the same attire, and still don’t have intimate relationship as husband and wife. As a matter of fact, many couples who don’t share intimacy, practice divorce in disguise until it occurs physically.
They do not practice couple mindset, which is absolutely necessary to produce the fusion required after being joined together. Husband and wife are simply joined at the wedding ceremony, but fuse together through mutual bonding. Wedding is one day ceremony, while marriage is a life-time process of cleaving. Communication is the only key through which a marriage can be properly built or torn apart. These could either be verbal or non-verbal words in nature.
Every broken marriage passes through the heat of negative words, and they may sound like these: I am tired of this marriage; I regret marrying him (her); you are the greatest tragedy in my life; I work as a slave to please him; shes the toughest witch I have come across; I cant forgive her for breaking our covenant; I cant wait for him to die, so I can re-marry; theres nothing more she could offer me sexually; shes not productive, after all I had a child after wed-lock, etc. Many of such words have been the reasons why Satan moved in to destroy many homes.
You don’t have to allow him. A young lady who had wanted to divorce her husband, (having realized that it wasn’t God who was leading her to do so) went to see her pastor one day with her husband and said, “Pastor, please forgive me for not listening to you in wanting to divorce my husband. Her pastor said to her, “It wasn’t you, it was the devil.” This reminds me of the time when Peter was trying to dissuade Jesus from His journey to the cross; “Then Peter took him, and began to rebuke him, saying, Be it far from thee, Lord: this shall not be unto thee. But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.” (Matthew 16:22-23 KJV)
This divorce-beast doesn’t need too many invitations. It slips in through an open door. Satan has been defeated and Christ has given us authority over him.(Lk 10:18,19; Mtt 18:18). Satan-the old serpent was cursed in the garden and God commanded “dust shall thou eat all the days of thy life” (Gen 3:14). God told Adam (Man specie) “unto dust shall thou return” (Gen 3:19). When man gives in to his fleshly desires, he gives Satan some food (dust) and this strengthens him to overcome man. “To be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace”. (Rom 8:6).
STOP this beast now by confessing faith/healthy words-Philippians 4:8. Live on the word of God and make your spirit far heavier than your flesh/feelings. Put God’s life back into your marriage. Deny this venomous beast of his mission in your home. If your marriage has been pushed to a dangerous suicidal ledge of divorce, there’s still hope for you. WHAT TO DO (Stop this Beast. Save your Marriage and save many marriages)
1) Just quickly return to God, ask for forgiveness and do the simplest prayer “Lord help my marriage”.
2) Then start pushing back this beast of divorce whose hands are already stretched out by denouncing those regrettable and angry words uttered.
3) Speak God’s desire for your home. You can also form good words of your choice for your new home.
4) Love your spouse through your submission of love or humility.
5) Grow the fruit of the spirit which God gave you as seeds when you got born again (Gal 5:22-23).
6) Love your partner for God and not necessarily for what you can get. This is agape- unconditional love. Whatever you do to the least of the brethren, you’ve done it to God (Mtt 25:40; 1Cor 7:3); even if your partner does not greet you, greet him/her. Avoid malice because it’s hell’s wickedness in disguise.
7) Be quick to say “Am sorry” to your partner when he/she is hurt. Don’t allow the whole village to gather before you do so.
8) Avoid gisting with a 3rd party who loves hearing negative information about your spouse. You will be exposing your own nakedness when you talk partner down before your friends. People would refuse to let go that picture even when your partner has changed.
9) Go to someone whom you hold on high esteem and has the Word and fear of God for counseling. Don’t allow people who would say “Ah! me too”, upon hearing what you are going through in your marriage to counsel with you.
10) Appreciate every effort your partner puts into your marriage even if he/she was supposed to do more.
11) Be sincere and truthful about wherever you go.
12) Avoid angry and provocative sms, even if your spouse has sent you one. Do not practice “Do me I do you” (1Thess 5:15). Use your phone to convey your messages of love to your partner. Practice good communication continuously until you attain verbal intimacy.
13) Spend more time praying for your partner than for yourself. It reduces spiritual and physical distances between both of you.
14) Don’t keep company with sexually immoral persons whether married or not.
15) Deliberately break away from any relationship that must have started/ renewed with an opposite sex (Former classmate or associate:- married or unmarried), during the time of your crises with your partner. Satan has used many of these home breakers (parasites) to further destroy matrimonial homes. This won’t be your portion in Jesus name.
16) Avoid telling such old/new friends the negative things your spouse has done to you. Upon hearing this, you will gradually sink into believing that at last someone is listening. And this will further position that person to show you the love and care your partner seems not to provide for you, and thereby becomes a trap for adultery.
17) Avoid secret telephone conversation with that opposite sex, including text messages that may encourage emotional/sensual lock Jam. Verbal intimacy through this medium could be very dangerous. Fantasy love usually precedes the physical love.
18) Don’t deny your partner when he/she comes to you for sex except when you have agreed you want to fast and pray. If possible have sex with your partner as often as you can so as to mend the gap of love created between both of you during your crises.
19) Don’t take major decisions outside your partner that will eventually affect your relationship. This was what happened to Eve in the Garden which eventually affected Adam and the human race.
20) Don’t give someone money secretly without the consent of your spouse. This may affect some areas of your financial budget and may leave a loophole for Satan to stir up strife.
Finally, keep the word of God in your marriage and in your mouth. Let it be your guiding motive, healing will come to your marriage as you deliberately trust God to help you handle every situation. Written By Pastor Chris Ikebuwa.
