Dear single lady, are you in a relationship with a guy who keeps demanding sex and because of the fear of losing him, you succumb? See, let me tell you the truth, if a man walks away from the relationship because you refused to sleep with him, that man does not deserve you! That man does not love you, he doesn’t value you, he is a selfish man looking to satisfy his lustful desires. What are you even doing with a man who doesn’t fear God?
Ladies, it’s high time you stopped believing the lies some men tell just so that they can have sex with you. Most of the time even after you choose to have sex, he will still break up! Why? Because you are yet to value yourself, because you haven’t dealt with your low self-esteem, because he is not looking for a wife yet, because you were just like the other ladies he’s been with!!!
Men use these approaches to have their way with ladies, don’t fall prey!!!
- THREAT APPROACH:
A man who threatens to end the relationship if you don’t have sex with him does not deserve you. What are you doing with a man who does not respect your values? Such a man is worth losing.
Ladies who continue with such men are ladies with very low self-esteem and think that their value is in remaining in a relationship with a guy even when he continues to make them feel worthless.
If you end up marrying him, he will make your life miserable and he would threaten you in other ways just so as to always have his way!!! How long do you want to keep displeasing God just because you want to maintain your relationship status of “in a relationship”? Let him go!
- THE LADIES MAN APPROACH:
Guys who use this approach are usually either very handsome, rich, popular, intelligent. They let you know how many ladies are dying to be in a relationship with them and make you feel as if you have hit a jackpot!
They make you feel as though you are experiencing a once in a life time opportunity of being in a relationship with them and if you lose them just because of “simple sex” or “common sex”, you are doing yourself a disfavour.
My dear sister, fine boy is not what you need to have a good relationship. There are many ladies who have fallen into the trap of marrying fine boy but have a terrible marriage. Marry a Godly person. Someone who fears God and realizes that disobeying God is a BIG DEAL!
- EVERYBODY IS DOING IT:
These kind of guys make you think that premarital sex is ok. They tell you how Sis A in the choir is having sex with Bro K and how Sis X is even trying to have sex with him. He tells you how his boss who is a church leader is after him sexually and makes you feel as if your Christianity is “too much!!!”
Don’t listen to him, not everyone is doing it! It is unfortunate that some people appear to be one leg in and one leg out with God. There are many who have chosen to keep themselves pure until marriage and since you have chosen to be one of those, let him know you will not bulge. If he genuinely loves you, he will go nowhere!
Guess what? He will trust you for life! If not, he isn’t worth the guilt that comes with sinning against God, let him go!
- PROMISE APPROACH:
This guy will promise to marry you, he will promise you heaven even if you get pregnant. Many ladies fall into this trap once the guy has promised marriage and think it is safe to have sex. NO!!! It is not safe my dear!!! DO NOT!!!
See, women are generally moved by what we hear and a man who is bent on having his way with you will say anything you want just so that you give in. My dear, when a man is horny and wants to have sex, he could make promises that appear honest and you believe that he is indeed capable of fulfilling. But when he is no longer in that horny realm, and pregnancy sets in, reality sets in, you will be shocked to see how things will be reversed.
If he so much loves you and will marry you if you get pregnant, let him do the honourable thing, marry you first then he can make love to you 24/7 if he wants
Genuine love is patient, if he isn’t able to wait, he does not deserve you, let him go!!!
- GUILT APPROACH:
“So you are almost 30 and you are still a virgin? Are you sure something is not wrong with you?” Some guys will even make you look like you are not sexually ok and you begin to doubt yourself. You begin to think that if you have sex, at least you are sure that you are “normal” lol. Funny but these things happen!
My dear sister, there is nothing wrong with you being a virgin or remaining celibate until marriage. I was a virgin until I got married at 25 and if I had to wait some more years before finding Mr Right, I believe that by God’s grace I would have stayed pure. If God helped me, He can help you.
You are not abnormal by choosing to please God. He has made you complete and if there’s any concern about your sexuality, see a doctor. Pre-marital sex is not the confirmation that you are normal. It leaves you with pain, shame and a terrible guilt. It is a NO NO!!!
It doesn’t matter if you have been doing it, you can choose to obey God and say NO to premarital sex from today.
Sex is beautiful, it is designed by God to be enjoyed only in marriage (Hebrews 13:4). It so much fun and super exciting when you make love to the man your heart beats for, the man who values you, the man who respects you, the man who genuinely loves you, the man who honours you, the man who your soul is one with and most importantly the man who is a child of God. It is worth waiting for. God bless you.
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