1) THE IMPATIENT ONE
This one wants the matter solved immediately, they are in a hurry to talk about things. This rush leads to heated emotions, shouting, demands, ultimatums and threats; especially if they have a spouse who first wants to be heard and patiently talk about the issues. In the end, this impatient one does more damage than good
2) THE AVOIDING ONE
This one ignores there is an issue. They like pretending all is well and when the conversation gets tough, they walk away. Sometimes they walk away with the excuse of “Will talk about it later” but the conversation is never had. Issues are never resolved and so the marriage keeps suffering
3) THE GIFT GIVER
This one throws money and gifts to problems. Whenever the spouse complains, they give money, take the spouse for a trip or promises goodies to silence the hurting spouse. The hurting spouse finds temporary relief but long-term, starts to feel like a fool because the gifts are like a bribe to stop addressing issues
4) THE FAKE APOLOGY TYPE
This one will be quick to say an apology just so that the hurting spouse can let go of the matter but they don’t change. The more you give fake apologies, the more your spouse stops taking you seriously
5) THE GREAT SEX TYPE
This one puts up a show in bed to cover up issues. He/she thrives on make up sex. After the mind blowing orgasms, the couple still remains with unresolved issues that threaten their union
6) THE NO CLOSURE TYPE
This one doesn’t conclude matters. Even after extensive conversations, resolving issues, seeing a counsellor; they still hold on to the problems of the past. With this person, issues don’t end, they just get carried forward and it is draining. Learn to let go of past offense
7) THE AFFAIR TYPE
This one jumps into an affair when there are problems in marriage. In fact, this person blames the spouse for their infidelity. It is difficult to work out issues with someone who is so quick to leave you and turn outside for comfort
8) THE SILENT TREATMENT ONE
This one instead of communicating and addressing issues, they give you cold vibes. This person will push you away with their attitude yet expect you to do the work of healing the marriage. Very dangerous
9) THE “LET’S SEPERATE” TYPE
This one leaves and asks for separation whenever things get difficult, they toy around with the option of divorce, they seem indecisive. They use separation to scare the spouse to do what they want. This makes the marriage shaky, eventually, the two get used to life without each other. People don’t invest effort where it is so easy to be abandoned
10) THE “YES” TYPE
This one says yes to everything the loud one in the marriage says. They agree to everything even if internally they disagree. They never share their thoughts or opinions and so the solutions are one-sided. Marriage is not meant to be one-sided
11) THE OVER SPIRITUAL TYPE
This one over-spiritualizes every problem. They don’t focus on the practical, everything is reduced to “Let’s pray and fast about it”
12) THE “LET’S FIX THIS TOGETHER” TYPE
This is the healthy way of addressing issues. Patiently give each other time to share perspectives on a matter, hear each other, find out the root cause of the problem, see both your faults and strengths, avoid insults and arguments, let each other express their pain and suggest solutions, agree on a vision for your marriage and way forward, appreciate each other’s differences, use challenges to make your love stronger
To have a good marriage, learn the art of conflict resolution.
