Is it Ever OK To Check Your Partner’s Phone?
The long and short of it: No, it’s generally not OK. It’s a violation of your partner’s privacy and a breach of trust ― not to mention, it’s often unproductive: You might find nothing and then feel like a jerk for snooping. You might find something small and innocent and blow it out of proportion.
At times, it can be a tempting idea to check your lover’s phone and see what all is happening in their digital world. Who are the people they have been recently chatting with, what all apps they are using, what’s in their search history or photo gallery—your lover’s phone might have something that can take you by surprise, right? Well, you can easily snoop on your significant other’s phone when he is not around but is it healthy for your relationship?
Here are a few things you should know before you check your partner’s phone:
RESPECT YOUR PARTNER’S PRIVACY
First, checking your partner’s phone without their permission can be a violation of their privacy. Ask yourself how would you feel if you find your lover secretly prying on your mobile and reading every text you exchanged with your friends and family members? In fact, this urge to check your partner’s phone may indicate that all is not well in your relationship:
You might be a controlling partner.
You might be insecure.
ARE THERE TRUST ISSUES?
Going through your partner’s phone might mean you are feeling insecure in your relationship or thinking your partner is hiding something from you. While snooping on his or her phone might momentarily seem like a good idea but it only creates problem in the long run. There is a high probability that you might even end up making assumptions or misinterpreting conversations.
WHEN YOU ARE TEMPTED TO CHECK HIS OR HER PHONE
In case you feel tempted to check your partner’s phone, it is best to ask yourself a few questions. What is urging me to do this? Will this help to improve our relationship? How can I do this so that it helps to build trust in our relationship rather than distrust? Reflecting on these questions will surely help you to gain clarity about your relationship.
COMMUNICATION IS THE SOLUTION
If you feel your partner has been acting secretive or different in the recent past, you should bring up this topic and have a candid conversation. Tell him or her what all you have been feeling and try not to accuse your partner. Discussing the matter is surely a more mature way to approach a problem in a relationship. Most importantly, it will save you from overthinking and making assumptions, and you will give your partner a chance to respond to all your queries.
IT ALSO DEPENDS ON YOUR EQUATION
Checking your partner’s phone without his or her knowledge can be an intrusion in their personal space but every couple shares a different equation. To the unmarried, I will never advice you to share password. But to the married, it’s healthy to be transparent with your phone. My wife and I knows each other’s password, and I am free to use her phone anytime, yet I have never gone through her text messages or find out whom she is talking with. I have no reason to suspect or mistrust her. We are so free and walk as One Being. Many unmarried are comfortable sharing their passwords with each other and letting their partner go through their phone without their consent but this arrangement can only work if they strike a mutual understanding on this subject. But again, expecting privacy is also justified and healthy in a relationship.