Before we go deeper, I want you to read this with an open heart, carefully considering my my choice of words.
Pay attention not only to the words but to the spirit behind them because there’s a message here that many need to grasp.
Let’s start by laying a solid foundation.
The best among men is still just a man.
I say this to remind you that no man is perfect.
No matter how great someone is, as long as they are human, they wear the garment of imperfection. We are all a work in progress, constantly growing and learning.
The same applies to all spiritual leaders.
A “man of God” is still a man first, before he is “of God.” This means that no matter how much you respect or honour your spiritual leaders, they can not be “the God of man.”
Now, here’s where we need to pay close attention.
There are many people who, out of respect or even confusion, go to their men of God to ask who they should marry.
They seek to “know God’s will” for their marital destiny, expecting their man of God, whether pastor or prophet, to tell them who their spouse should be.
If you’re reading this and nodding in agreement, understand that while your man of God may have spiritual insight, it’s not their role to choose your spouse for you.
Some people are busy juggling multiple relationships at the same time now, and when it comes to choosing who to marry, they’ll run to their pastor to “predict” God’s will for them, as though they’re consulting an oracle.
Let’s be clear on things before I proceed, it is possible for a man of God to have insight into your marital future through spiritual gifting or intimacy with God.
But this is rare, and even when it happens, it’s not the norm.
Many people are struggling in their marriages today because they married based on “my pastor said,” and not “God said.” That difference is huge.
A pastor’s counsel is valuable, but it is not a substitute for your own spiritual discernment.
Here’s a truth that might surprise some of you.
God is not the one who chooses your partner for you. Yes!
I know that’s hard to hear, but it’s rare for God to choose a spouse for anyone unless the person specifically asks for that level of involvement due to their deep intimacy with Him.
Even then, it happens with the person’s consent. God will not force anyone on you.
Let me break it down slowly.
It’s rare for God to handpick a spouse for anyone, and when He does, it’s because the person has asked for His guidance directly, based on their relationship with Him.
People often say that God chose Eve for Adam, but if you read your Bible carefully, you’ll see that God presented Eve to Adam, just like He did with the animals.
It was Adam who decided what became of what God presented.
The Bible says that whatever Adam named the creatures, that was their name. In the same way, Adam chose Eve as his wife the moment he saw her.
In your life, God will present different people to you, but it’s up to you to make the choice.
He won’t make the decision for you, and neither should your man of God. I’m saying this respectfully, and my sincere heartfelt desire is that you’ll understand.
Most spiritual leaders, when asked to choose, base their judgment on the information you present to them. And guess what?
People often present the person they prefer in the best possible light, leaving out key red flags. This can lead to misguided advice.
Your man of God should offer wise counsel based on spiritual understanding, but they should not be the one to choose for you.
You have the ability to seek God’s face for yourself. You can see in the Spirit and discern God’s will on your own.
When you receive direction from God firsthand, it’s hard to doubt what you’ve seen or heard yourself.
It’s that information or revelation that will keep you standing strong when the storms of life come hitting on your marriage.
When you delegate this responsibility to someone else, you also miss out on the personal growth and blessings that come with seeking God for yourself.
Your man of God’s advice should be a confirmation of what you’ve already received from God, not a replacement for it.
I hope you’re still paying attention?
The responsibility of choosing a spouse is yours. Seek God for yourself, grow in spiritual intimacy, and rely on His guidance.
Your spiritual leaders can counsel you, but you must make the decision, and you will be responsible for that decision.
That way, you’ll not blame anyone for where your marriage is headed over time.
Wisdom is profitable to direct, so use it wisely in choosing your life partner.
The wisdom you gain from pursuing God on your own will not only direct your steps but also strengthen your faith and discernment for the future.
It’s not cliche. Marriage is truly beautiful when you marry correctly.
But listen, this is just a counsel, and you can do with it as you please.