INTRODUCTION: One major truth that many singles fail to realize or embrace is that singleness is a phase in life; It is a passing phase that must be maximized for striking accomplishments before one gets married. It is not a period to be ashamed of, it is not a period to be wasted, it is not a period to get engaged in youthful follies but a period to be appreciated and utilize to lay a solid foundation for a colourful future.
THE UNIQUENESS OF THE SINGLENESS:
There are many advantages of your single days. Only the wise one can see this uniqueness that come with the singleness. Singleness is not a disease. While you are still single, you have the following advantages to yourself:
You are strong: You have strength and that makes you strong and energetic.
You are at the peak of your beauty: As a single guy/ lady, you are at the peak of your beauty. That is why, it is at this period you have many guys/ ladies coming around you for relationship because your beauty/ handsomeness is highly attractive at this stage.
Many opportunities are available at this stage of your life: When you are single, there are many opportunities that are around you that you can take advantage of to become a better person.
It is a period of choice making: It is at this period you will make major decisions of your life. Decision of who to marry, where to live, what to do for living, who to serve, company to keep, e.t.c.
Undivided Attention: Unlike the married who have their attention divide on themselves and their family; singles have undivided attention. You can focus your energy and time on a particular goal without having to think of taking care of a wife/ husband and children.
Freedom: In your single days, you enjoy certain freedom. This is not to say that marriage brings bondage, no! Far from it. Marriage is another form of freedom that you need to experience too, but the point I am is that as a single guy/ lady, you enjoy some certain freedom. You can pack your bags and go for 7 days retreat/ camp/ workshop/ vacation without much monitoring or someone asking you too much questions. You have freedom only that many singles are misusing their freedom like freedom of what to wear, who to relate with , freedom of sexual expression and the abuse of these freedoms is now putting the lives of many singles into long time bondage.
THINGS TO DO TO MAXIMIZE YOUR SINGLENESS AND BE SUCCESSFUL
1) Build a robust relationship with God. The period of singleness is the period to make God your Father so that you can go farther in life. Many of the great God’s generals in Christendom got hooked up to God in their single days. This is the time to work for and walk with God. This is the time to give your life to Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. The time to trust Him, rely on Him, read the Bible through, and live a righteous life, run away from sin and unrighteous habit. (Eccl. 12:1, Gen 17:1)
2) Discover your purpose and pursue it rigorously: The best time to discover your purpose for living is now! Find answer to the following questions. What is my calling? What is my purpose in life what problem was I born to solve why am I here? You must discover your purpose because life without bearing is a burden. Don’t run another man’s vision and purpose. Seek the face God to reveal your purpose to you. Check the endowment of God in your life as that can also be a pointer to your purpose in life. Don’t only discover your purpose, as soon as you discover it, get upon your feet and pursue your purpose!
3) Get educated: Whatever your purpose, calling or life assignment that you have discovered, you need to get educated on it. Go to school to develop yourself on it so that you can become your best in it. Be well trained and groomed. Be well equipped and prepare for your life assignment. Know it well and well. Know it through and through. Be an expert in it. Be a professional in it. Become a definition of success in that thing. (2 Timothy 2:15, Proverbs 19:2)
4) Keep Right Association: Evil association corrupts beautiful destiny. Make good and godly friends in your single days. Make friend with people who will help you fulfill your vision, people who will ginger you to become a noble person indeed. Move with right people if you desire to move ahead in life even as a single. (Proverbs 13: 20,1 Corinthians 15:33).
5) Develop yourself: Apart from going to school; let learning be a continuous things in your life. Schooling will stop but learning continues. Improve yourself informally apart from your formal education. Attend workshops, seminars, conferences, training schools; read good books especially books in your area of assignment in life, and hang around those who are successful in your area of career. (2 Peter 1:5-11)
6) Build good self esteem: Never look down on yourself because you are single. If you don’t believe in your own self, who will believe in you?. Believe in what God can do for you, to you and through you. Tell yourself loud and clear ‘ I am not ordinary!’.
7) Manage your sexuality well: Deal with lust. Don’t follow the direction of your erection lest you walk into destruction. Run away from masturbation, fornication and pornography. Never toy with sexual sins. It will destroy you faster than anything. Lady, ‘guard’ your gate! Zip up lest your destiny slip away from your hand. There is power in purity. As single that desire to be successful, build a wholesome sexual life. ( Proverbs 23:17, 1 Corinthians 6: 14-18).
8) Develop Godly character: Charisma is not enough, develop godly character that will attract right people and helper into your life. Develop character like meekness, love, patience, reliability, humility, etc. Bad character is like a flat tyre in a car, you cannot go anywhere until you change it. You can never become successful if your character is out of place. (Proverbs 18:14)
9) Have a good mentor: Have a good mentor, a father who can help you see and go farther in life. Choose someone of integrity, who believe in you and your vision and can help you become a better person.
10) Make, manage and multiply money: Money plays a major role in any life. Infact its presence or absence in any life determines if such a person will be seen as a successful person or a failure. Don’t wait until you are married before you will seek financial dominion. Start now! Learn to make, manage and multiply money.
11) Serve People: Be a blessing to people around you now that you are single. Let other see your life as a lift for their lives. Remember, God will make happen to you, what you make happen to others. Be a problem solver not a problem manufacturer. ( Matthew 4:15-16)
12) Choose your marriage partner biblically, wisely and patiently: Don’t marry a guy because of what he is driving, marry him because of what is driving him. Don’t marry anyone because of blackberry lest you bury your destiny. Don’t marry anyone because of iPhone lest he/she siphon your destiny. Choose in God, choose carefully, and choose destiny lifter, energizer, and destiny booster. Your overall success depends on who you marry. May you marry the right person in Jesus name- Prov. 20:6, 19:4.
13) Make adequate preparation for marriage: Attend singles programmes, read quality books on marriage. Buy every means; get yourself ready for a colorful, blissful and successful marriage.
To be single, yet successful, this is the way!
